Glenn Beck is what happens when you mix low information voters (Clever) With an apathetic pro wrestling mind-set, a big pile of hate, Some truck nutz, & 5 scoops of historical lies for good measure Bake at nutty for 2 years, then serve to minions of morons (Cue circus music) It was a delicious & […]

You’re aware of the 24-7 full time “invent-a-hate” of Jon Stewart on FOX? (Oh shizzle!) Such quality “news” programming, and it’s what “stupid” does “Stupid” tries to “win”, “get you”, or “destroy you” It doesn’t thoughtfully look inward, or try listening to the point being made “Stupid” knows “exactly what it’s doing”, when it clearly […]

We all know Blago’s more crooked than a spine with scoliosis (Weeeeeeeeeee) Or a 3 mile shillelagh He’s also nuttier than my stool after 5 lbs of cashews But now he’s going to the big house to be somebody’s “bitch” (It’s true) Rod, or #45729342 as he likes to be called, will be having a […]

To the cretins who “slashed 51 float tires” at the Gay Pride Parade in Chicago (Hateful fuckwads) I say this: No matter what you do in life, you own this action You must look in the mirror and see that hateful, ignorant, reflection every day It just stares back at you like something shallow, creepy, […]

I was busy waiting for my airplane (Classy!) Why are you staring at me? Oh, why yes it’s a new watch…thanks for noticing Louie Gohmert Is A Tool He is a Texas congressman who decided Obama’s 57 state mix-up (“My heads up my ass, but I talk”) Was really an Islamic terror plan. Ah yes, […]

This guy’s a slice of work. A big slice… No seriously, look at him. He “ate” the former governor (“You’re next on the menu jerko!”) He’s also nucking futs. On a local PBS call-in show, a caller named Gail asked this: “You don’t send your children to public schools, you send them to private schools […]

You’ve all heard about Tracy Morgan’s rant against homosexuals by now (“I done fucked up”) If not, look next to you, your roommate Bin Laden might be dead… Rule #1 about Homophobe Club, you can’t talk about Homophobe Club Rule #2 about Homophobe Club, never piss off the Velvet Mafia (Snaps hand in air) (Honestly, […]

Screw just “watching” it… Why can’t you actually BE Green Lantern? (Insert yourself here) You know, spend some quality time on planet Oa It’ll be dope ass old school… Republican Funny Bone Remains Undiscovered The Republican Leadership Conference Hired an Obama impersonator named Reggie Brown (Um…now look. No literally) Who did Obama jokes about his […]

If she doesn’t get more exposure, her career’ll never “take off” (“You win Mr. Pin”) Poor girl. Maybe she should release albums “between” her already hurried albums Or have a “tour” during her “$130 Per Ticket Tour” She’s more exposed than Weiner’s wenis (Classic!) While she’s very fun, flavors come and go Only the business […]

A Texas man dies while raping an elderly woman… (What an asshole) In the midst of rape 53 year-old Isabel Chavelo Gutierrez complained he wasn’t feeling well And he “stopped having sex with her so he could rest” Hey AP, one doesn’t “stop having sex” when they’re “raping someone” (File photo) They “tire of being […]