Archive for December, 2009

The Best Of 2009

December 31st, 2009

Cheney In A Wheelchair Sounds like a new Blink 182 song… Now the big question: Separated at birth? (Captain happy) Cheney at Obama’s inauguration… (Black and White version) He left early, but it didn’t come as a shock to anyone. After all, his name is Dick… The Oscars Had… More singing and dancing than a […]

Saying “Boring”…

December 30th, 2009

About the Queen of England, gets radio DJ das boot! (Not these morning zoo clowns) Guess for “poop jokes” it’s “off with your head”. Couple rules about radio DJ’s: 1) They play burps, farts and crank call nursing homes. Don’t take em seriously 2) Not many people listen to them, except shut-ins, morons, and 10 […]


December 29th, 2009

Stop giving Brett Favre a verbal tongue bath in every sentence… (“Look, I’m Jesus!”) I watched the Bears upset the Minnesota Vikings last night. It’s one of the only real games they’ve played all year long in my stupid assed opinion. They actually played football instead of being that “super sucky team”… The biggest problem […]

The Santa Gang…

December 28th, 2009

They run guns, booze, weed, knock off banks, and have to be in bed by 7pm… (“We’re only five bitch!”) This gutsy group of thumb suckers is known only as “Santa’s Gang”… The middle one Jacob “Bed Head” Goldstein is the brains… Then there’s Eddy “Iron Lung” Wacowitz on the right who’s great with explosives… […]

How’s Your Ass Been?

December 26th, 2009

For Charlie Sheen, it’ll be sore today after going to jail yesterday… (More like Two And A Half Months) He was arrested spending yesterday placed in an Aspen Colorado jail cell on domestic violence allegations against his wife of 19 months Brooke Mueller. (“Bang, pow, right to the slopes!”) He then battered a fading career, […]

Jesus Christ!

December 25th, 2009

Yep, he’s here today… (“What? It’s cause I’m bald right?”) But not if you’re Hindu, Jewish, Jehovah’s Witness, Atheist, Islam, or many more… You’re on your own. Good luck with that… Merry Nude Year! Have a day!

Santa’s Wife Delayed…

December 24th, 2009

Due to bad weather. She’s forced to wait in JFK airport until is clears up… (Chair: “Jesus fuck, help me”) Looks like Santa is on his own tonight… It’s Christmas Steve! My grandma is really hard of hearing… (Nana!) But how I do still love her. She makes me hand made scarves, and cooks for […]

Because his lips were stung by a wasps nest and the swelling never went down… (He could kiss King Kong) Tyler has entered a rehabilitation facility to treat an addiction to painkillers that he has taken to cope with over 10 years of performance related injuries. Like what, a broken dick from groupies? Tyler said […]

Happy Harmomica!

December 22nd, 2009

Eight days and nights of Blues harmonica playing, right? (Find your blues!) Naaaaaaaaw, it’s actually Hanukkah which means “The Festival Of Lights”… Which is also what they call every night at Little Richards house during x-mas (Known as “Hanukkah middle finger”) And all I want is for Health Care reform to pass with a Public […]

I Spit In Your Face…

December 21st, 2009

We have different people who do different stupid things in life. After all, that’s what makes it worth living… But this sack of spank sauce, this mobis, this clownish farthole takes the cake… (Spity McGee!) Everyone knows Llama’s spit. If you don’t, you find out damn quick… (Wait, wrong Lama) Learn from guys like “Meat Head Lou […]

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