Archive for June, 2009

Rearended By Bernie!

June 30th, 2009

Bernie Madoff “prison bitch” gets to spend the last 25 years of his life getting passed around like a one-hitter at a Dave Matthews concert… (Say bitch!) And it couldn’t happen to a bigger assface… He got 150 years, then had the balls to ask the judge for “leniency”… (Dick hat) Judge chin called his […]

Not Billy Mays Too!

June 29th, 2009

Alright “Death” if that is what you like to be called. Unless you prefer “Mr. Death”, “Doctor Death”, “The Reaper Of Total Grimness”, or “Baron Von Killington”… (Death has a dog?) BTW, I’m using my “inside voice” knowing how you like to kill people… (Ruby red, classy) I’m not going to fight you on your […]


June 27th, 2009

Get there, do it, be cooler than an igloo, and hotter than lava! (He’s coming to the show) It’s at 8:30pm. take a date, have a beer and a laugh… Then go have your dirty awesome car sex…or what ever it is you people do… This is what people who don’t go look like… (Spencer […]

Even the Grim Reaper’s working over-time for job security… (It was autoerotoasphyxiation, not me) Three people in three days? Settle down “Death”, you’re over worked… First Ed McMahon, then Farrah Fawcett, now Michael Jackson… How about taking a fucking “staycation”, hanging out with your dog “Bonezy”, or try building a nice relaxing model and enjoy […]

Iran’s President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad has some harsh words for Obama… (Lil’ asshole) Obama said he was “appalled and outraged” by a post-election crackdown and Washington withdrew invitations to Iranian diplomats to attend Independence Day celebrations on July 4, stalling efforts to improve ties with Tehran (They looks so happy) “Mr Obama made a mistake to […]

Oh, It Wasn’t A Hike…

June 24th, 2009

Remember when Governor Mark Sandford spent the last five days hiking the Appalachian Trail? Oh yeah, turns out that was way wrong… (Where did I go?) It was really a fucking trip to Buenos Aires, Argentina… Can I get a “Brokeback Argentina” now? Just remember, I called it 1st… (It’s refreshing) Think of it. He […]

SC Governor Took A Hike…

June 23rd, 2009

SC Governor Mark Sanford hadn’t spoken with his staff since last Thursday. He left the state on what Sawyer called a “routine post legislative vacation” to unwind… (Tax hike, take a hike, no dif) He texted his office this morning to inform them all that he was actually stuck in Sid & Marty Crofts new […]

John McCain decided to give Obama the universal you’ve “done well” sign… (Beats a “kick in the ass”) It sure beats the universal you “didn’t do well” sign… (Sit & spin!) Look, I’m glad McCain thinks he did a good job and all, but I really don’t care what old man river thinks. That’s why […]

Toys The Time Forgot…

June 20th, 2009

What a gem. Why’d it ever go away? (Superb realism-thrilling action!) Yey! It’s all the fun of “real” house fires, but for little pyro’s to enjoy… Watch as you don’t put out the fire in time, and action figures burn to death… Weeeee… What about Pet Ghost? (You feed it chains & pain) Get “Pet […]


June 19th, 2009

Scott Linebrink decided the Cubs should win the crosstown classic yesterday… (Wonder Crap powers activate!) That’s why he blew a four run lead in the bottom of the 8th to tie the game at 5-5 The Cubs went on to win in the bottom of the 9th 6-5 on a Soriano walk-off single… He should […]

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