Archive for May, 2010

When it comes to our media attacking politicians kids, Glenny Beck says, “Leave my family…leave people’s families alone!” (Good point $100) He goes on to say, “You don’t go after Chelsea Clinton. You don’t talk about the Bush kids. Now, the minute they get into politics, that’s a different story. You leave the families alone!” […]

Toilet Duck!

May 28th, 2010

That’s right. It’s exactly what you would think it is… (Bagowk!) Dangerous, down feathered, & hiding in your shitter… Watch your ass this weekend people, or toilet duck will have a piece of your ass… Miss USA & I Finally Broke Up… She simply wasn’t attractive enough… (Us during better times) And shockingly, her shit […]

It’s official now. The BP oil spill is better than Exxon Valdez… (Poo water?) Biggest oil spill in US history… Beside when 300,000 greasers went swimming in the Gulf in the 1950’s (It is the word) When I spilled oil in front of my house, they called it the “3rd worst oil spill in our […]

Well Plug My Pipe?!?!

May 26th, 2010

For BP with the oil leak, it’s like constant underwater diarrhea… (The “sea squirts”) Come on BP, 11th time’s a charm… They are trying to cap this with mud. Fucking mud. All this amazing technology at their finger tips, and they use…mud… But wait, if the mud works, then they’ll fire in some cement… Not […]

Rand Paul A Racist?

May 25th, 2010

Nope, he’s not racist… (“We stuck for bigots baby!”) He just thinks that racist bigots have rights too… Check it out here… He doesn’t like to answer, “do you accept Title II of the Civil Rights Act, or not?”. Because turns out, he doesn’t. He believes private hotels, business, and other places have the right […]

Over the weekend Dora The Explorer was arrested in Arizona for looking “Mexican”… (Lo que el jode sucedió?) Oh yeah, and most of our family went to West Point Military Academy to watch my nephew Philip graduate, and watch my oldest brother Daniel get promoted to Lieutenant General(3rd star). Here’s a couple few things I […]

Instant Laxative!

May 20th, 2010

(The colon cleanser) All in one convenient tin can… For faster results add 10 White Castle sliders… Douchebag Hotline Finally a place to call when you see this… (Dude, you’re orange) Pick up a phone and call… (No toll-free?) You’ll be doing the world a great service… Have a day!

Bravo Kentucky! Rand Paul is your GOP Tea Bagging guy… (Give me your $) You did it. You fought the system. You elected Ron Paul’s kid in the primary… He said, “I have a message, a message from the tea party, a message that is loud and clear and does not mince words: We have […]

Are You F’ing Serious?

May 18th, 2010

No, you need to see this… Dale Peterson is running for Alabama’s Commissioner of Agriculture… (“I need your vote before you die”) In the ad: “We’re republicans!” *swings rifle over his chest with his finger on trigger* Dale Peterson thinks it’s 1950’s and America’s living on the set of The Rifleman (“That’s it son, hold […]

There’s nothing better than local anchors screwing up… Like good old Ernie “Keep fucking that chicken” Anastos… (The woman’s face is wonderful) Try this on for size… “So she’s enjoying penis a little bit more is she?”… (Whoooooooooooooooops) Ah local news. The straw that stirs our national drink… They’re the Kevin Federline of train wrecks, […]

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