Archive for May, 2010

Which Fart Are You?

May 15th, 2010

Silent but deadly? Rear-end Ricochet off a desk chair? A Wet One? Bathtub fart? The Ass Trumpet? Chinese Firecracker fart? The Crowd Crop-duster? A sneezing fart known as the Snart? The barrrrrrrrap butt burp? Taint Stainer? Tommy Gun? (It’s a shitty read) Take some time to really think about it, but I’ll help start you… […]

Insane McCain

May 14th, 2010

Guess he’s not a “Maverick” anymore, just an out of touch angry old white guy… (Can I have this job?) Oh yeah, and he hates Mexicans. Well in fairness, not all Mexicans Just the illegal ones… In his new ad, he declares, “Complete the danged fence”… But in 2007 he didn’t think so saying, “I […]

Palin, Beck, & iphones?

May 13th, 2010

Our lovable mouth farter was in Chicago at the Rosemont Theater. Why? Oh, because she’s entertainment silly. Heck, you don’t want her to explain specific facts or address issues. You want jingoistic platitudes. Lies. It’s “Folksy charm”… With zero substance right? (I think I’m George Patton with tits!) You want Sarah Palin. After a Highland […]

Boobies In 3-DD!

May 12th, 2010

Playboy has done it again… (How about 4-d?) Sure naked women are awesome enough, but why not make tits in 3-D?!?! Finally I can reach out and “touch em” in my mind If you try to touch her crotch, she 3-D slaps you… Arizona, Your Bigotry Is Sticking Out Turns out the whole Arizona passing […]

The Pope Says…

May 11th, 2010

Those kids were begging for it by wearing tight clothes and studying so hard… (“It smells like Cheetos & little boy”) He decided that it’s the “sins of these priests” that caused this whole problem… Not the constant boy fucking where leaders(him) continuously covered it up (“Cruising for kids!”) He then called for “profound purification”, […]

Former Notre Dame football coach Charlie Weis?!?! (Chill out bitches?!?!) Wait a second, that’s actually US Solicitor General Elect Elena Kagan Who is awesomely qualified, but tell me they weren’t separated at birth…    I kid, I love… Meh, because someone isn’t pretty doesn’t suddenly mean they’re not “supremely” qualified to hold the position. In […]

Captain Skidmark Says…

May 8th, 2010

Don’t wipe (Skidmarks even happen in politics) It adds that extra “touch of class” every pair of “tighty whities” needs… Have a day!

A Well-Hung Parliment!

May 7th, 2010

Naw, I’m just pulling your Clegg… (Zowie!) Zing! Wang! Zong! Conservative leader David Cameron “claimed the right” to govern Britain, appealing to the center-left Liberal Democrats on Friday to join him in forming this new government and attempting to calm financial markets as they jump (“I claim me to be awesome!”) Didn’t know you “claim” […]

Or will it be 6 more years of conservative rule in the UK? (You can cover people with grass?) Only time will tell. Oh yeah, and of course the results of counted votes and stuff… England has elections today, or as they’re referring to it: “Election Erection Gubnor” After Browns famous verbal gaffe, David Cameron […]

FOX And The FEMA Hound

May 5th, 2010

Oh, so now according to FOX and there lil buddy FEMA Fuck-up Michael Brown… (I love black people Kayne) Obama, and his administration somehow created the oil leak… It’s totally true, all they had to do was… -Get BP to uncap the oil rig going totally against their own self-interest for profits -Let loose billions […]

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