Does anyone know where this is? (It’s a hard street to find) Still better than the intersection of “Stinky” and “Balls”… The Definition Of Competition (Whooops) Three shows tonight, get there! Oh yeah, and go have a day…

It’s not a power outage, or a new super hero’s name, or another Million Man March… (They smell weakness this way) It’s shopping for big discounts; which is like crack for women… I like a good discount like the next guy, and won’t buy anything unless it’s on sale, but for many women it’s an […]

Todays the day… (Elmo hungry) Snacks, booze, football, food, more food, followed by more football. It’s an eye and stomach orgy. Who knew the Indians loved football so freaking much? Tough Financial Times Call For Tough Decisions This would be one of them… (I’d rather eat cardboard) If someone asks for “seconds”, they’re either “slow” […]

I drew these hand turkeys for you. Normally they suck, but these turned out alright… (Where’s the “cut off in traffic” hand?) Face it, we’re getting fat in the next three days, so I say embrace it… Here are some helpful tips when at the table: -Wear sweat pants -Instead of a spoon, use a […]

Life imitates film… In the movie Anchorman, starring will Ferrel and directed by Chicago’s own Adam McKay, Ron Burgandy tries to sabotage the career of rising star female co-anchor Veronica Corningstone. Welp, so did 51 year old Philly news anchor Larry Mendte to co-anchor Alycia Lane… (Hint: Larry is on the left) He hacked into […]

And it wasn’t by a pants-less 9 year-old boy running down the street crying… (He’s Powder with hair) Sheik Abdulla bin Hamad Al Khalifa said he gave the singer millions and planned a series of collaborations following Jackson’s acquittal on child molestation charges in 2005… (It’s called Nevertell Land now) Someone should’ve told Al Khalifa(His […]

If I did this in my house when I was a kid… (Non-union painters suck) I’d still be in a coma from the beating…. Either that or they’d kill me outright to avoid the medical costs and sell my organs… It’s Ben S. Bernanke & Henry Paulson as kids… Young Sarah Palin This could be […]

Divorce! (She material, & he’s a little tea pot) Bam! Got cha, didn’t I? It was either that or “Women hit hard…By Economy”, “Single Mothers Dying…For Love”, or “Gary Coleman Fucks…Up On-Line Purchase” Told he’d loose half his money to someone far more wealthy than himself, he said… (What’s that love, come again?) Puppy Cam! […]

Here’s the plot: Bella Swan is a clumsy, kind hearted teenager with a knack for getting into trouble. Edward Cullen is an intelligent, good looking vampire who is trying to hide his secret. Against all odds, the two fall in love but will a pack of blood thirsty trackers and the disapproval of their family […]

They wanted to see if anyone bought a single copy of the complete first season yet… Anyone? (More like Sitting On The Dock Of Gay) I think there’s a huge lot where crappy 80’s shows go to die. I couldn’t help but think Riptide would have friends like Whiz Kids, 227, and Jake And The […]