I drew these hand turkeys for you. Normally they suck, but these turned out alright…

(Where’s the “cut off in traffic” hand?)

Face it, we’re getting fat in the next three days, so I say embrace it…

Here are some helpful tips when at the table:

-Wear sweat pants
-Instead of a spoon, use a shovel
-When asking for wine, say, “I’ll have the bottle”
-If you can see any part of your plate during the entire meal, you’re not trying
-At the end make sure to burp, fart, and slap your stomach loudly. Do not shit yourself!
-Afterwards politely ask, “Where’s your Vomitorium?”

When your host corrects you explaining a Vomitorium is really a passage situated below or behind a tier of seats in an amphitheatre, through which crowds “spewed out” at the end of a performance, just say, “Fine, I’ll puke in the coat room”…

Fiddlehead Restaurant In Chicago

Speaking of food, I went to the coolest, nicest, hippest joint last night to nibble on food before the show. It’s called the Fiddlehead Cafe on 4600 N Lincoln, and it kicks the ass off a donkey…

Their website

Had the butternut squash soup. I hate fu-fu crap, and she-she stuff. It was flat out great! They also have cheese plates. I’m a guy so having “Booze and Cheese” at a place? Hell, I live for that shit. I also made an ass out of myself by asking the wonderful waitress, “What’s your crack dujour?”.

(It’s “classy” comfort food)

Get reservations, it gets crowded…

Back To Work…

For all five hours. Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeee…

(They have F1, why not FU?)

Show tonight, but not on Thanksgiving. Go have a day!