Does Disney just take a location, then match it with a proper noun for pitches? I can’t wait for New Jersey Gold Fish, Small Town Pythons, and New Mexican Pugs… (Really Disney? Why not “Robot Nanny“?) This shit has got to stop. We all know these are films are created to baby sit other peoples […]

(It still costs $45 to fill up your race car bed) Here we are, face-to-face, a couple silver spoons! Did you ever notice the kid Ricky didn’t remotely look like the dad? I think Edward Stratton the III was grifted… Sad news… Paul “Cool Hand Luke” Newman died at the age of 83 after a […]

The Chicago White Sox are choking the ending of this 2008 season harder than an Heimlich victim at Gibson’s Steak House… (The international sign for the 2008 White Sox) They got swept in Minnesota three games straight. They are now 1/2 a game behind in the American League Central. They stink like 3 day old […]

Tomorrow night, it’s on! No wait, it’s off according to John McCain who is “suspending” his campaign to deal with our current financial crisis… No wait, it’s back on! I think. I don’t know. What’s happening with old man river? He’s a little man, in a big suit, who appears to be…lost. Now when students […]

They’re putting the finishing touches on Trump Towers in Chicago… (Looks like a dead ferret) Trump is a fart..loud, smelly, and clears a room… Bailout Schmailout The administration who ruined our economy, now wants a blank check worth 700 Billion. Only thing is they don’t want any “oversight” according to section 8 of their 3-page […]

Porn! (Ba da da dat daaa, I’m loving it!) We have a collapsing economy. We’re at war in Afghanistan, and Iraq. Our constitution has been used as toilet paper. The executive branch has unlimited power to say “shove it” to anyone questioning their actions, policy, or reality; making checks and balances obsolete. We’re not safer, […]

Won an emmy for a performance on his HBO special… (Shove this up your ass!) He quipped, “Great, I finally have something to prop my door open”. Then he shat himself, and blamed it on a black lady sitting in the front row… McCain backs bailouts, but also defends bank deregulation Let that sink in […]

I noticed this while driving on the freeway… (It’s odd putting 6 inches in my mouth) Show tonight, get there!

Between 1995 OJ… (When we do “acquit”, you don’t know shit) And 2008 OJ… (I thought “what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas”) A: Johnnie Cochran! Other than that, they’re both guilty as fuck… It’s the Economy stupid! Anyone who can say the “fundemetals of the economy are strong” with a straight face, is lying […]

I’d like to properly introduce you to 2 feet 5.37 inches tall Ping Ping who is the shortest man, and the leggiest woman at 52 inches long, Svetlana Pankratova. Ping Ping, Svetlana…here’s everyone… (Ping Ping tells Svetlana what he wants for X-mas) They were in Trafalgar Square to promote the release of the 2009 “Guinness […]