The Chicago White Sux

September 26th, 2008

The Chicago White Sox are choking the ending of this 2008 season harder than an Heimlich victim at Gibson’s Steak House…

choking-old.jpg(The international sign for the 2008 White Sox)

They got swept in Minnesota three games straight. They are now 1/2 a game behind in the American League Central. They stink like 3 day old rotten fish in an alley garbage can…

I’m a die hard White Sox fan and always will be, but I’m also honest. We’re the worst disciplined baseball team. We relied on HR’s like a pimp relies on his ho’s money. We couldn’t lay down a simple bunt with an ironing board. We couldn’t hit runners in if they got an 89 ft lead and couldn’t be doubled up. We couldn’t pitch well if the strike zone was Cuba. We couldn’t catch up when behind, and we couldn’t close games when ahead. We sucked at the basics. I bet we couldn’t flush a toilet without somehow screwing it up. Here, let me get that for you…


John McCain is on Meth

The last two week for John McCain have been just…weird. I can’t stress this enough, you can have a slew of cheap baseless attack ads against Obama, pick a VP candidate who’s slower than one legged kid on a bicycle, be responsible for the current financial crisis touting deregulation then saying you’ll “clean it up” even though it’s partially your mess, then collectively “freak out” and suspend your campaign, then change your mind, but still leave a debate you promised to attend on Friday up in the air until the day of the event…but you can’t LIE TO LETTERMAN…

mccainletterman.jpg(Dave asks him for 700 Billion)

Why was Dave mad? McCain called him up and said he was sorry to cancel on him, but the country needed him, and he was “racing back to Washington”. They told Letterman’s people, “he’s getting on a plane immediately “. Dave more than understood, wished him well, and thanked him for being attendant to the cause. Only to find later her was up the hall on Katie Couric’s show…

mccain-on-couric.jpg(Katie listens to John’s “Palin dress up fantasy’s”)

If you are going to LIE to someone about what you are doing, DON’T get caught doing it in the same network, in the same building, up the hall. During the show they showed the interview live so Dave asked: “Hey John, do you need a ride to the airport?”

Washington Mutual just fell today. Our economy looks like that hobo who shat his pants asking for spare change on your street…

Debate is ON! No joke, until it’s off because McCain has to water his plants

It’s 8pm CST. Tune in, turn it up, and watch Democracy!

I leave you with this…

palin-couric.jpg(She fell after trying to chew gum too)

Passing all the flags, Palin quipped, “Neat, now I know about all them counties too”…

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