Archive for September, 2009

Never Bring A Cell Phone…

September 30th, 2009

When Wolverine is performing! (“I said shut off your cell phone”) He’ll shred you like cheddar on nacho’s. He’ll cut you faster than a Columbian tweeker… During a preview performance on Broadway for the play “A Steady Rain”(a taut stylishly gritty cop drama set in Chicago), someone in the audiences cell phone went off during […]

Palin’s New Book…

September 29th, 2009

Is titled, “You Bet Your Ass I Didn’t Write This”… (The lying machine) If she wrote that book… I’m 18, drugs are legal, and Clinton never got blown by Lewinsky. It’s 400 pages with no 34 point Helvetica font, no pictures, and no pop-ups… Yeah, she didn’t touch this… (Note the “prop” newspaper) The working […]

Live From New York…

September 28th, 2009

It’s fucking Saturday Night Live! The f-bomb made it’s 3rd national debut on late night SNL… (Keeer-fuck!) Sure it’s no, “Keep on fucking that chicken”, but it was good… (Ernie Anastos!) Is this a sign of things to come? The “Cum Chuggers”, Jews With Herpes”, and “The Shit Flinging Neighbors” sketches recently tabled suddenly will […]

According To Jefferson Starship…

September 26th, 2009

We built this city on Rock and roll… (Wacky cover!) No offense, but steel and cement might hold up a lot better…just sayin’… A stiff wind will fold that city faster than Superman on laundry day. (Nice folding ace!) It’s just not a sound structure to build an entire fucking city on you lazy clowns… […]

Glenn Wreck Gets Couric’d!

September 25th, 2009

He isn’t a racist. He isn’t a reporter. He isn’t really much of anything… (My eyes have been raped) He’s an ex-morning Zoo Crew radio guy for Y95 who’s utterly clueless when it comes to facts, spouts huge lies daily for ratings, says virtually anything that jumps into his head, which isn’t much from his […]

Cue The Banjos…

September 24th, 2009

Because daddy’s humping daughter. After all incest is best kept in the family! Turns out One Day At A Time sit-com star Mackenzie Philips had a decade long sexual relationship with her father. Let me repeat that. DECADE LONG sex with daddy… (He’s currently pumping me) Her father was John Philips, a member of the […]

Palin In Heat Of The Moment…

September 23rd, 2009

In Asia! (Not the band!) Bristol and Levi were in the “heat of the moment”. Which got them Shunt or Fall, or whatever the kids name is… Sara there to talk about how our Federal Reserve is too big, and how government will bail out big companies deemed “too big to fail”. Guess she forgot […]

When Swine Flu…

September 22nd, 2009

(Alright kid, gimme some candy quick!) Suddenly becomes “Wine Flu”… In an effort to stop the Swine Flu epidemic from spreading Amanda Gallagher from Mahattan decided to stay home from work today citing “Wine Flu”… (Weeeeeeeeeeeeee, bottle chug!) She and her friends went through 3 bottles of Shiraz last night talking their friend Mindy down […]

Emmy Enama!

September 21st, 2009

Obey the Neil Patrick Harris! (Emmy fight!) He will always love you, need you, then dump you on your Jimmy Fallon ass… (Have you gone Mad Men?) Here’s a list of some of the whiners… -Whoever came in 2nd to Mad Men for Outstanding Drama Series -Whoever came in 2nd to 30 Rock for Outstanding […]

I Got This…

September 19th, 2009

Sterotyped costume gift for you… (Crasssy) It sort of says “I’m trapped in the 50’s where Jerry Lewis impressions of Asian’s are still funny to me for reasons unknown” without really saying it… Three shows tonight in Chicago, get there… Have a day!

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