Archive for April, 2010

Iron Man 2 VS Kick Ass

April 30th, 2010

Should be on PPV, but who would win?    VS.  Um, neither. They’re fucking comic book characters… But if you had to guess, I’d say Iron Man 2. Mostly because he actually HAS a suit with amazing super powers. Kick Ass only had a wet suit and two taped metal pipes. That’s it. Last I […]

They try to EAT you… (I’ll never…eat…a McNugget…again) When you really think about, it’s genius. Using their best weapon against you… Police say a 24-year-old man is missing a chunk of his right ear that was bitten off by a woman who didn’t like being called “fat”. Sounds like he shouldn’t have called her fat […]

Arizona Ice-T Party!

April 28th, 2010

Bravo land of million old people! You did it, with only one piece of immigration law… (Had rights, the word is HAD) You made it illegal to be an illegal immigrant in Arizona. Ok, the idea is sound, and I agree. However you decided to add these gems: -The law requires police to ask for […]

Baby VS. Pony Deathmatch!

April 27th, 2010

The pony can kick, but the baby can gum you… (I see your horse hole) Shit, that kid has more chins than a Chinese phone book… Bet I could fit that pony in my pocket… I’d name him Blackie. Then I’d take him to parties and be “The pocket pony guy”… People would write of […]

Yes indeed. The Insane Clown Posse has struck comedy gold. The only problem… (Come with us on an ignorance trip) They’re supposed to be musicians. See for yourself. The song is called “Miracles”… Some gems from this glorious masterpiece: -“And I don’t wanna talk to a scientist Y’all motherfuckers lyin, and getting me pissed” -“Fuckin […]

Chris Shaw, 29, a Missouri store clerk for Break Time, was declared Thursday as the winner of the $258.5 million Powerball jackpot in Wednesday night’s drawing… (Eat an apple through a picket fence?) And the 1st thing he should buy with his new found wealth? Some fucking teeth… Have a day!

Question Time!

April 23rd, 2010

After an assembly, you ask kids, “Are there any questions?”. Then you get this… (Giddy Drawers got a question!) My favorites are the ones who grunt “Ooooooooooh, ooooooooooh” stretching really high as if they just “want it more” so I’ll have to call on them to shut them up… Then you call on them. Wait […]

10-  Light a dumpster of those old styrofoam McDonalds containers on fire (Fire em up) 9- Pay someone to drive your diesel truck around the city all day long 8- Lobby congress for more landfills in public parks 7-  Destroy reams of paper, then scream, “We must kill more trees!” 6- Flush used condoms down […]

“My Lil’ Meth Lab”…

April 21st, 2010

Finally, they’re making reasonable toys for kids today… (Gonna be mad rich bitch!) That way, it’s not only fun, but you have one great “cook” on your hands by age 11… Who knows, he might even become the top wage earner in the house… (Atta girl!) What do NASCAR, Meth Labs, and Sarah Palin all […]

Goldman Sucks…

April 20th, 2010

I love when white collar criminals finally get caught Cause it’s totally different than inter-city crime. Right? (Before whiteout) Cause they didn’t use a mask and gun. Oh yeah, and it was worth billions… Instead of $567.21 in the 7/11 register… (After whiteout) They’re both wrong… But I’d like to see them go to a […]

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