To the cretins who “slashed 51 float tires” at the Gay Pride Parade in Chicago

(Hateful fuckwads)

I say this:

No matter what you do in life, you own this action

You must look in the mirror and see that hateful, ignorant, reflection every day

It just stares back at you like something shallow, creepy, and sad going nowhere

Maybe someday you’ll change. Maybe you won’t; but you now own your hate

(Bravo!)

Best part, it back-fired

More people showed up to support, cheer, and it rocked!

It wasn’t as fun as the year the “peanut” cart came by

I screamed, “Everybody loves hot nuts today! Put some hot nuts in your mouth”

(My eyes got color raped)

Or when Dick Durbin was in it, and we screamed, “Everybody loves Dick today!”

Nothing you do will change the happy positive effect of equal rights under the law

It’s a losing argument like saying video games or Apple will never catch on

(Bang, suck it bigots!)

It must be hard being an asshole bigoted homophobe today

You feel like the times, the laws, and the whole world are against you

That’s because they are…and the rest of the rational world couldn’t be happier

Ever “Died” At Your Own Funeral?

Wait, come again?

Yes, wrongly pronounced dead a “49 year-old Russian woman”

(“I didn’t touch her…yet”)

“Wakes up” during her own funeral; then dies of shock

I seriously can’t make this shit up. It’s weirder than a guy with 5 eyes

Blago jury verdict stuff tomorrow

He’s guilty…of having the worst lego hair ever

Have a day!