Archive for March, 2011

Donald Chump

March 16th, 2011

I thought a Friars Roast was supposed to be funny (It’s a fiery logo) Some of the comedians, I like… But the material was weaker than a 90 year-old on dialysis (I kid, he’s actually 107) Trump still has his own building in Chicago. They even added a new “top” piece to it (Chump Towers) […]

Bracket Me Bitch!

March 15th, 2011

It’s Bracket Ball Booooooooi… (Wow, so galactic) Wait, is that really a new sport? It sounds painful… NCAA  tournament time means one thing… All goofy office people trying to guess like a 7 IQ kid on a test: “Who the fuck is Chadron State?!?!” (A recent graduate!) I say fill in cool crazy names like: […]

But was jumped from behind and knocked out with it’s own bat By basketball. Actually this is the key suspect in the case: (An angry drunk Michael Jordan) They found the bat in his locker. Oh the irony White Sox vs Cubs today at 2:05pm in Cactus League play Which means…well pretty much nothing Just […]

Go Fuck Yourself Teachers!

March 10th, 2011

Bravo Wisconsin! You sure took those fat cat teachers to the wood shed (It said “Businesses” not “teachers”) In a “move” labeled a big ass “sucker punch” to working families “Walker Tall And Be A Big Prick” Along with all Wisconsin Republicans but one in the legislation (*Photo caption) *”And then I’ll take all public […]

With PBS/NPR and what do you get?!?! (Bigoted acne?) You guessed it, candid Tea Tard Camera again You remember his illegal entry into Senator Mary Landrieu’s office? (Classy boy) Well turns out our little charmer tried a sting NPR Didn’t work, but got a guy already leaving to tell the truth They didn’t believe they […]

On Monday, Walker rejected a personal meeting with Democratic senators They suggested they all meet at the boarder in a letter he received… (I can’t read things) Walker basically told them all to all fuck themselves “For us to move forward, we need reasonable and responsible officials,” governor said. “This letter is absolutely ridiculous. He[Miller]is […]

Governor Chris Christie said on Friday (Suck on my Jersey flag pin!) That he’s not worried about businesses leaving for Illinois Because Illinois Gov. Pat Quinn is “a disaster” Christie, while he’s far from perfect, don’t call our governor a “disaster” (He “ate” the former governor?) You know the old saying… Those who live in […]

Turns out his Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas (I have a jetpack in my robe) Has a wife who was paid $700,000 by the Heritage Foundation A “conservative think tank,” between 2003 and 2007 She also got undisclosed $ by a Tea Party lobbying group in 2009 She is an active Tea Party member lobbyist… […]

Way to go Ohio… Pretending you’re the cuter slicker younger brother of Wisconsin (You little shit) You’re like a young Hailee Steinfeld Trying to upstage Jeff Bridges in True Grit (What the fuck kid?!?) Trying to out do, your fatter, drunk, cheese chomping older brother Listen up Wisconsin. The girl from the Goonies isn’t gonna […]

I know what you’re thinking… (No, not quite) Did I do an eight ball with two 20 year-old porn chics Then have sex with them while my kids watch… No, I didn’t go all “Sheen” on you Think about it. She “looks” the part (I iz prezidental) Here’s why she should be president: -She wears […]

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