Could you ask for a more wonderful moment than when those Chilean miners were pulled out 1-by-1 with such neat looks of joyful optimism at the power of life itself? (Great moment) Well, not if you’re wife is standing there looking like this: (You pussy mining SOB) Mostly because your mistress is also standing there […]

It sounds like a bad line in an 80’s movie by a talking robot… (Not that kind) It also sounds like someone on the Jersey Shore got “neutered”… In a way, he did… (Gaytown wants their shirt back) A guy with more grease in his hair than a deep fryer in a 24 hour restaurant […]

I’m looking in your direction “Gays” (“I’m this big an asshole”) Carl says, “I don’t think it’s proper for them to go there and watch a couple of grown men grind against each other. I don’t think that’s proper. I think it’s disgusting” Yes Carl, and this “thinking”… (“Have you ever been fisted?”) Was after […]

Pet bird. Why, what did you think I was going to type? It’s Columbus day, that means it’s all about parades ahoy! Celebrate the spirit of Christopher Columbus, so go discover another continent with people already inhabiting it, then claim it as your own while allowing them to still live there… (He gave us Ho-Chunk […]

Sharron Angle is a lot of things (No Muslims allowed) She thinks all abortion is wrong. Even in cases of insect and rape But now let’s add fearful of Muslims to the list… “I keep hearing about Muslims wanting to take over the United States …on a TV program just last night, I saw that […]

What a nice fella… (Fuck you poor people) By “nice fella” I mean “soulless prick who only fights for the uber rich while telling the poor or middle class to fuck themselves”. I mean sure he’s no Alvin Green Few are, but he even flew past “Rove Douche Levels” (Look it’s kid turd) He decide […]

My grits… (Oh Flo, you so crazy) Obama spoke at the Fortune Magazine’s Most Powerful Women Summit Until his presidential Seal on the podium feel down and go boom… (“What tha fuck?”) His under pressure response: “That’s OK, I think everyone here knows who I am” Only to have a blind woman look around saying, […]

No, it’s not when the Dirty Sanchez gets verbal (I say “things”) It’s where former CNN news douche Rick Sanchez calls Jon Stewart a “bigot” Then rips on “Jew owners at CNN” “He can’t relate to a guy like me,” Sanchez said. “He can’t relate to somebody who grew up poor” Right. He was swimming […]

(No unicorns?) -Because you can’t fuck points -You can’t cuddle a “win” -When’s the last QB break out game blown you? -No one ever really “loses” in sex -No one talks shit when you’re not doing well (How about “I suck”?) Why Fantasy Football Is Better Than Sex -You only have to do it once […]

Of course he does… (“Eat my toasted oats bitch!”) It’s only a matter of time before Sarah Palin has hers called Quitter It’ll have American flag colored “Q’s” with shapes of guns, bibles, and Tea Bags But back to Ochocinco for a moment… (It’s only a matter of time) What’s worse than having a kids […]