Archive for April, 2009

What makes any Disney movie funny to kids? What can be SBD, or loud with no cloud? What’s not so great, that can ruin a date? (Wow, how kind) Farts… You’ve got loud farts, soft squeakers, thunder sharts, trumpets, balloon releasers, face melters, room clearers, eye blinders, butt crackers, wet whispers, and so many more… […]

Can you Believe…

April 17th, 2009

Obama’s a Socialist totalitarian, with no birth certificate, who plans on implementing a New World Order by taking aways everyones guns, putting us in mandatory FEMA camps, and opening government funded abortion stations on the freeway? What’s up with that?!?! (Pours faux “gas” on intern) I thought the left was a bunch of pot smoking […]

He’s The Tax Man…

April 16th, 2009

Everyone hates tax time. The people filing, the accounts doing it, and the people getting it in the government. Wait, scratch the last one… How about the tiny little money we get back from the entire venture… (No shit. Well, maybe shit…) Well we’re done for now, unless your name is Wesley Snipes… Obama released […]

(Beard=super mega funny) Oh, hi…I didn’t see you standing there with that wad of money in your hand waiting for me to tell you something you might already know… Gimme… *Takes money* Great, now please sit down with the other cattle…I mean, couples… (Face touch: good. Face punch: bad) Here are my Super Awesome Tips […]

She Didn’t Kiss A Guy…

April 14th, 2009

And she liked it… (Uhhhhhh!) Whoa, I’ve seen cuter hairless dogs. She’s got a face made for radio… With a breath taking voice to match it! You’ve probably heard people talk about it already, or seen it by now. If you haven’t, here you go… Before going on stage, Ms. Boyle admitted she’s never been […]

I always thought pirates were supposed to be a lovable rag tag group of scallywags tryin’ to find treasure, or be the main part of a Disney theme ride… (Argh, new pirates can kiss my aft end!) Nope… Somali pirates are kind of like a collection of floating super dicks… After a five-day standoff during […]

Tales From Adventureland…

April 11th, 2009

Saw the movie Adventureland last night… (It’s funstastic!) It’s great… If you know anyone who lived, loved, laughed, or drew breathe in the 80’s… This flick is a must see… (MC Hippie) It had everything any movie could ask for, from a shitty summer job, to the “80’s style hot girl”, to pot cookies, to […]

Lick My Simpson!

April 10th, 2009

Shits serious when you’re actually placed on a piece of mail… (Why Maggie mad?) The Simpson’s are now US stamps… The question now, which character goes on which letter? Homer-Gas bill Margie-Letter to the editor of Glamour for using the word menstruation Lisa-Mount Holyoke College application Bart-Subscription fee to Stun Gun Monthly Maggie-Dora The Explorer […]


April 9th, 2009

What is it about boogers? We scavenge around in our nose like going through a suit case on vacation looking for the perfect shirt. Bingo, we find it, & out it comes… (Pick a winner buddy) Our eyes light up as if we’ve just seen a long lost friend across the room… Now comes the […]

What Does Obama Watch?

April 8th, 2009

Politico did a nice piece on what Obama watches on tv… (Obama playing pocket pool) My first reaction was… Who gives a flying shit? I don’t care if you watch iCarly, Myth Busters, or steamy animal porn… Just fix our broken country… (Stone porch seats are the best!) Then curiosity got the best of me, […]

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