Archive for February, 2009

What Book Is Trump Reading?

February 17th, 2009

I don’t know, but it looks like cotton candy comb-over is stuck on chapter 11… (Get a chin-strap for that helmet hair) Trump Entertainment Resorts Inc filed for bankruptcy protection on Tuesday due to the recession and declining gambling revenues… Trump does want the help, but chump shouldn’t get the help… This marks mouth farts […]

Burglar’s Feel Robbed…

February 16th, 2009

How do you stop two burglar’s from robbing your home? You take their get away car! (Bitch got hamburglared!) For centuries we’ve had it wrong letting burglars take from us. Finally Patrick Rosario showed us the right way to do it. Steal something important from them 1st! Patrick was in the basement of his Bellevue, […]

Fun Kids Toys…

February 14th, 2009

Let’s see what amazing things kids are playing with these days… (It’s prison in a ring!) (Cute AND productive) (Reality TV’s audience) It sure beats all the great things we played with… Magical stuff like lighters, screwdrivers, and rocks… Have a non-Hallmark Holiday day!

Scratch My Back?

February 13th, 2009

Lee Redmond was in the Guinness Book of World Records for the longest fingernails… (I thought they were ropes) Note I said was… She’d still hold the record today if it wasn’t for a terrible car crash yesterday where she was ejected from her SUV and broke them all off… The good news, she’s not […]

Shovel KO!

February 12th, 2009

We have hero’s… People like Chesley “Sully” Sullenberger, single moms, and Neil Patrick Harris… Now we have a new one… A crowd was gathered around a vicious attack on a city street. But nobody was doing much to stop a man from stabbing a woman Wednesday morning as her two young kids screamed nearby… That’s […]

KFC Releases Secret Recipe

February 11th, 2009

During five months in hiding while KFC upgraded security around its top corporate secret recipe for fried chicken, sources learned it was accidentally leaked… (A new Inigo Montoya is born) KFC president Rodger Eaton was visibly upset when one of his employee’s said they leaked the secret which is kept in a safe on a […]

Stimulate Me!

February 10th, 2009

(Palm snatch) Listen baby… I know times are tough. We can’t afford sushi dinners, lush cars, or tropical trips. Come to think of it, we can’t afford bread; but we can enjoy love my saucy minx… *Puts on music. Dances. Rams into coffee table. Swears. Keeps dancing* The wait is over baby… We need to […]

Octuplets Insanity…

February 9th, 2009

(They look happy) What do you call a single women, with no job, 8 kids, & living with her mother? A pimp… To put that no paper, no jobby job, bombastic baby maker to work… (Playa, set her straight) Did I mention she already had 6 kids? How about her collagen injected lips giving that […]

Stupid Sh#t Saturday…

February 7th, 2009

Bale apologizes to sell tickets, Gates releases a cloud of mosquitoes into a crowd, Starbucks gets chucked by 8 O’Clock, Octuplet mom is nuttier than Etta James, and The Love Guru will win worst picture at the Razzies… (They love me, they love me not) This was like some horrible Hindu “black face” experiment gone […]

Now Etta James…

February 6th, 2009

What’s going on here? Is something in the water? Did freak school just let out? Poor Etta sounds loopier than a bowl of Cheerio’s. She’s crazy. You heard me… Jacket with sleeves that tie in the back, shifty eyed, shit flinging; c-r-a-z-y… She 71 and looks like a meth’d out white chic or the character […]

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