Archive for January, 2009

Wii For Cats

January 8th, 2009

I came home early and found my cat Jingles like this… (“Covr ur eyes from myz shame”) For true. People who own Wii’s have noticed the console moved or a window broken when they get back home and wondered what happened. It’s a serious epidemic sweeping across the nation called Feline Wii Addiction. Sadly, it […]

They Must Be Related…

January 7th, 2009

Roland Burris… (Somebody likey attention) And ex-Bear/Packer Henry Burris… (You can park a car in the gap) What do they have in common? One was a solid politician who only took a job from a 5th rate lying soon-to-be indicted governor because no one else would take it. The other was a solid QB from […]

Roland, Roland, Roland…

January 6th, 2009

Though your feet are swollen, reporters are a trollin’ for, Your-hide! I likey the man nuggets on Roland. He’s 71, knows this might be his last shot, is a qualified person, so he’s going to just show up for work. It’s wacky, bold, and in every 3rd act of Disney films. I like it… (She […]

Blago’s Bitch

January 5th, 2009

Poor Roland Burris… (He takes a question from Dick Mell in a wig) Is he qualified? Yes… Is he squeaky clean? Yes Would he do a great job replacing Obama? Yes Did Rod-o tap him because his political career is having it’s throat slit & he’s a minority? Fuck YES… Rod’s acting like porn king […]

Books For Kids…

January 3rd, 2009

This book deals with kids accepting reality… (Polar bears hide inside ice, then jump out?) The kid in the story was named Matt. He’d also answer to “dumb-ass” and “Lunch”… Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs? A: A doctor. He’s obviously been in some kind of horrific thresher […]

The #1 Google Search

January 2nd, 2009

Today is… (Did you find your contact?) Headaches! Number 2 is removing vomit from clothing… Wow, the day after New Years, “headaches” are #1. I’m shocked. That’s like being shocked that the Bears are out of the playoffs, cars need gas, and water is wet… Money Money Money In financial crisis we trust… (Instead it […]

New Years Day…

January 1st, 2009

Did you know that 09 in the Chinese calendar is the year of the Wiggum? (Pick a winner) It’s all about Ralph Wiggum baby, so enjoy doing silly stupid shit. It’s the law… Good to be back in Chicago, even though it’s 23 degrees. 23 degrees sounds like a shitty knock off band like 98 […]

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