Disney Buys Marvel Comics…

September 1st, 2009

Ensuring every superhero will now be supposedly well adjusted, get married, & live happily-ever-after to a hot teen soundtrack. It’s what most of us call Mormons…

marvel_comics.jpg(So, much, spandex)

Odd, they’re one dropped “M” away from morons…

I can’t wait till The Avengers add a pregnant Jaime Lynn Spears as Zoey 101…or Captain America is teaming up with the Jonas Brothers to defeat the Red Skull…

rummy-captian-america-spidey.jpg(Captain scoping Rummy’s junk?)

Afterwards they’ll all join hands and start singing about it in a snappy new tune called “His Head’s Red, But He Still Has A Heart” featuring Kelly Clarkson…

captain-america.jpg(Come here you big lug, “noogie time”!)

I just got sick on my older comics. Good thing they’re covered in mylar…

spider-man-eating.jpg(Spiderman’s my accountant Pete!)

It’s only a matter of time before the Hulk will have a thoughtful monologue on the importance of “being yourself” before hurling a semi off a bridge…

cpatain-miss-marvel.jpg(“That’s not a gun digging in your back”)

Here’s the good news. Lots of $ to throw at the production value. Good thing…

Disney writers. Bad thing…

Have a day!

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