But he’s OK. Whew…

(You’d make a good a airbag)

According to the cops, Woods had just left his Florida mansion when he lost control of his 2009 Cadillac and hit a fire hydrant, then a tree on his neighbor’s property. The report said alcohol was not a factor. His wife used a golf club to smash the rear window and get him out. Don’t you wonder, how did that last part all go down?

(He’s better at golf than driving)

Wife: I’m going to smash the window with one of your clubs

Tiger: Use a 6 iron. Wait, check the wind 1st…

Wife: I think a driver would do the trick

Tiger: You’re right, what the fuck do I know about golf clubs?

I’m just a PGA champion

Wife: Do you want me to get you out or not dickhead?

Tiger: Since there’s a cross breeze, might I suggest a 9 iron?

*Tiger in the drivers seat pulls out his note pad, licks finger, places it in the air*

Wife: It’s just a window vs. club thing. Golf club always wins

*She strikes the window, it ricochetes back hitting her in the face. She falls*

Tiger: Told you, 9 iron…

Have a day!