You’ve all heard about it by now. The Catholic Church is mad

(Not at that)

At Obama, & the health care policy congress passed. But why?

It passed two years ago, they knew it was coming. So why now?

Well there are two “fake” reasons. And there is one factual one

(“Hipster Nuns” I knew it)

All Bishops & even the Pope will spout this one with such glee:

“We will not have our religious freedom taken away from us”

It is actually you denying the citizens in your church freedom

(Yikes)

It’s also a neat Republican voting season gimmick, right on que

Can’t attack Obama on Iraq, jobs, or the economy. Try religion

They’ll also pull out this little gem when it’s oh so convenient:

(Truth hurts)

“Catholics can’t be second class citizens because of ours beliefs”

Yes, so “offering” people choice is the same as “forcing”. Nope

98% of Catholic women today use birth control. It’s a non-issue

(No WAY!?!?)

So then let’s get down to the nitty gritty committee of facts here

Why do Catholic leaders hate contraception? It means less kids

Which means less paying customers. See, it’s bad for business

(“Underwear Sundays” are a hit)

Business is down. Only 2.3 million Catholic’s are left, they don’t

Want ANYTHING cutting their business. Never ever. I’d know

I was one of them before. Then I grew up. Today I’m an atheist

(Yes, they separate)

And don’t even get me started on “Separation of Church & State”

So what will Obama do on this? What he always does. Fold like

Superman on laundry day. Why? He needs votes in the election

The beat goes on, circus music is cued up, & we all do the dance

The NBA Decides To Allow Guns On The Court

As a new part of their “Let’s Fucking Entertain The Fans” promo

They have decided to allow each team on the court 3 weapons at

(The new slogan)

Any time. The rules state, “You may only use hand guns with clips

Of 30 or less, and can not shoot in the face or chest”. They added

“Please do not fire into the crowd unless it’s AFLAC Jacket Nite”

Have a weekend!