Barry Bonds Guilty?

April 14th, 2011

On only one count of “Obstruction Of Justice”?

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What were the jurors watching, “Eat, Pray, Love”?

Good, it’s the only 12 people who actually did

Finding out he’s guilty

Is about as shocking as finding out forks & light sockets don’t go “together”

His head was so big it took children 3 hours to run around it

Bonds took roids, he took them often


And all the people who injected, sold to, or helped him said so

The only person who thinks Bonds didn’t take them, is Bonds…

A common side-effect of Steroids is instant amnesia

And a really really really tiny penis

Complainers: Valid Points, Or Huge Douchebags

While some do have valid points

They’re mostly big bags of douche, only thinking of themselves

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And dominating the conversation about their shit

Never asking you, “How are you doing?”…

Oh, and if they actually do, promise me you won’t start complaining

My “Irony Meter” will explode

Have a day!

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