We’ve been there, it’s 2am at a party, everyone’s drunkish

And the pool in the backyard is close enough from the roof of your bungalow

(A “future” super idiot)

The chants begin, “Jump, jump, jump”. You do it and somehow make it

Luckily without breaking your arm, back, or face. Insanely stupid right?

(Post “golden god” moment)

Then there’s THIS: A fucking Drew Peterson movie

But it gets worse, wait for it, Rob Lowe is playing Peterson

(They totally look alike…to blind people)

Hm, makes sense if your TV is now a “Funhouse Mirror”

But lifetime ditched it because Drew’s lawyer will sue. This “taints” the jury pool

*The entire class giggles and snickers with glee*

(Wrong “Glee”)

Yes, I typed “taint”

Who knew? The creepy guy who did it actually doesn’t want it out there

What does that say about Lifetime?

They should have “a making of the making of” about why they scraped it

Playing “Debt Ceiling” Chicken With Our Lives

Listen up house Republicans. Keeping playing politics with everyone’s lives

And your party will cease to exist

(Good advice)

This is one of the saddest chapter of our US history

From the tone you’d think Republicans never raised the Debt Ceiling under Bush

When in fact, they did it SEVEN TIMES

But now since they don’t like the guy in charge, they’re speaking apocalyptic

There also going to fold faster than a coked up origami expert

(Oh shit, it’s obvious right?)

Because their buddies on Wall Street who pay for their votes need it

It’s a show, a stupid loud, shitty, weak show

Where Michelle Bachmann can’t pronounce the Yiddish word “chutzpah”

(Stick to beauty pageant waves)

She thinks it’s “Choot-spa”. Don’t try Yiddish, your brain is starting to smoke

Harry Potters Wand Is Bigger

No it seriously is…

(I said “wand”, not “broom”)

Watch the final movie…you’ll see

Maybe it’s because of his new tiny facial hair. Who knows

Rock your weekend!