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Sure it sucks being out of job today, but things could be worse…

(Ugh, “Axe” works my ass)

You could be a(n):

-Attack dog subject
-Faulty Parachute tester
-Little League coach
-Porcupine Hugger
-Replica Globe Continent title maker while getting straight D’s in Geography
-In Tank Deadly Shark Petter
-Facial bear trap tester
-Baby Juggler
-Crash Test Dummy
-4th grade teacher
-Live alligator dentist with no anesthetic

Thank your lucky stars!

Jack Ryan’s Younger Brother Paul…

Want’s you to know: Medicare is bad! Spending is bad! Government is bad!

(But I printed stuff out at Kinko’s!)

Wait a second, how does this guy earn a living again?

Oh, right, he’s Wisconsin’s Republican House representative

On a GOVERNMENT SALARY

(“Tune In Tokyo”)

Yes, my irony meter also exploded

But wait. What is his solution to our problems?

Oh, “vouchers”. OK, that makes sense

For doctors who already don’t take Medicare patients

*Disney record scratch*

Wait, what? No, you can’t just kick the can down the road

(“Say what?”)

Then when older people get sick, their fucked

Republican’s mantra: “Screw em. It’s not me, so not my problem”

Clerk Quits Over Gay Marriage Licenses

A town clerk in New York has resigned. Why?

Didn’t you read the title, or were you “skimming” again?

To avoid being “forced” to sign marriage licenses for gay and lesbian couples

You see, she has religious objections to same-sex marriage. From her letter to quit:

(Laura Fotusky, the quitter)

“I believe that there is a higher law than the law of the land

It is the law of God in the Bible.”

Oh, I see. This is fun, can I play?

Um, my 5 year old son has “Religious Objections” to “nap-time”

Bible says “A man/boy shall not lie down with a women until wed”

Little Jason is only 2 inches from Becky Tattler’s head. Violation!

(It happened!)

It must be “fun” picking and choosing which laws you like or not

You know, since “god’s” got your back

Inside Nerd Joke: In other news

Ptolemy recently quit astronomy citing the sun moves around the earth

Copernicus & Galileo took his job right away

Have a day!

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