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Big Ballot Boner!

January 25th, 2011

Relax, it’s not really what you think it is…

If it was this blog would have 9 hits instead of .005

Rahm Emanuel won’t be on the ballot in Chicago’s mayoral race…

rahm-finger-over-mouth.jpg(Now what am I forgetting?)

Many believe it was replaced with “Dr. Kick Ass Cool Jewish Emanuel Del Fuego”

By “Many” I mean “I”, and by “believe it was” I mean “know for sure it wasn’t”

Meh, he’s trying the courts. You might win, you might lose…

But ohhhhhhhhhhhh what a show

rahm-emanuel-finger-hand-thing.jpg(Fozzy Bear “Wocka Wocka Wocka”!)

All it’s missing is a ring master, calliope, and elephant shit…

Oh yeah, and a bunch of kids jacked up a sugar frothing at the mouth

State Of The Onion

What about their satire paper, the writers, the staff?

The Onion News Network? The Sports Network?

state-of-the-onion.jpg(A layered story)

Your funny bone will remain untickled

Tonight Obama’ll be: “Tuscon horror” then “Let us remember” then “Let us never forget” then “Stop being divided” then “Only together” then “Let’s all stop the hate”

Finishing with a “God bless America” as red, white, and blue confetti canons fire…

It’s watching Coke vs. Pepsi humans clap at shit in between naps

Stand up, sit down, clap some more. It’s like Church meets a Scorpions concert

scorpions-lovedrive.jpg(Nope, no drugs here)

Just without the kneeling and kid getting high as fuck next to you

Nutty McSquirral Shit Pleads “Not Guilty”

I’m shocked, shocked I tells ya

creepy-killer.jpg(Um, when did he…)

But if he’s pleading insanity

By the Catch 22 book rule, that means if he “knows” he’s insane

jared-lougher-sketch.jpg(Get glasses and hair?)

Then he’s not insane. Let that bend your butter bitch

Have a day!

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