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Archive for June, 2009

That’s right, move over Steven Chu… (Fine, now I can play my PS3, bitch) It’s time to make way for The Simpson’s Frank “Grimey” Grimes… (Oh shit, I’m not qualified to do this) President Obama was excited while announcing this yesterday as the press lovingly gathered to around to adore him. However, they quickly reminded […]

You’ve all heard about this by now, but an Air France plane just sort of disappeared “Lost style”, over the Atlantic ocean, last Sunday, with 228 people on board… (Plane they wish they had) But get this, Brazilian officials have insisted for three days that their military pilots have spotted wreckage from the flight. When […]

Kill Bill…killed?

June 4th, 2009

Well, not killed… (Mah! It’s the Crypt Keeper) Rather died at the age of 72 in his Thailand hotel where he was filming his latest movie Stretch. Police suspect suicide. This really sucks wind… (Kill Bill gummy bears are hard core) He was fantastic in Kill Bill I and II, Kung Fu TV series, and […]

Many of you sadly watched it like a car accident you couldn’t turn away from… I guess “My Husbands An Impeached Fraud…Now Watch Me Swear” was booked… (“I love an evil lying lego haired Chipmunk”) Patti Blagojevich is not a “celebrity”. None of these people are “Celebrities” except maybe Francis and Angela. I’m friends with […]

Why…

June 2nd, 2009

Have I owned the worst cars of all time? Toyota Corona? Check… (How did I not get laid? Oh yeah, this) Mine was turd brown, had chicken wire in the back windows, the passengers side floorboard rotted out “Flintstone style”, and was lovingly called “The Roach Coach”… The tape deck needed to have a bic […]

I was listening to Poker Face the other day… (Jem is truly outrageous!) Mostly because I’m gay… That’s when I heard something I didn’t think I heard right. Went back, listened closely, and BAM! There it was, just as easy to spot as a huge wild pack of screaming blond white girls at a Jonas […]

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