“But if you call now, in the next 20 minutes, cause we can’t do this all day, I’ll pay $1,000 for sex, have the hooker bite my tongue, then beat the living fu%k out of her!”
(Paper towels are no good for blood!)
Guess he gave her the ol’ Chop Slap to the face…
Police say, Vince Shlomi, famous for his TV pitches of the super-absorbent cloth, met 26-year-old prostitute Sasha Harris at a nightclub on Feb. 7 and brought her to a hotel. He paid her $1,000 for “straight sex†and kissed her before she bit his tongue and would not let go, according to the documents. WTF?
That’s like paying for car, then the salesman won’t let you off the lot. But one thing I think we all know *wink*, is the cardinal rule with hookers is “no kissing”. Maybe Vince was so in love he thought Sasha was going to the next Pretty Shamwow Women…
(Hang in there baby!)
Listen, Harris royally sucks. Not what she does for her job, but for doing this. She bit down because of who he was. She wouldn’t have done this if he was just another chump. She’d have taken the money, and been out the door…
I never thought I’d say it, but I actually feel sorry for Vince. Believe it or not, he’s the victim here. They agreed on a transaction, then she got him in the his most vulnerable position to exploit him. If some hooker is biting my tongue, you bet your sweet ass I’m going to light her up like a pin ball machine!
How do I know she won’t bite all the way through ruining my speech forever? So that happened, now what? To make ends meat, Vince now has to have a steel catch fight to the death match with Billy Mays…
(The undercard is Chair vs. Table)
I still love ya Vince, but your commercials make me projectile vomit!
Tomorrow, one word to overzealous Obama critics, relax.
He has plenty of time to make real mistakes, so stop focusing on fake ones…
Have a day!
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