Prime time, taking questions, and shooting back “the look”…

(“What chew talking about Willis?”)

It went down like this…

Q: “But on AIG, why did you wait — why did you wait days to come out and express that outrage? It seems like the action is coming out of New York and the attorney general’s office. It took you days to come public with Secretary Geithner and say, look, we’re outraged. Why did it take so long?”

OBAMA: “It took us a couple of days because I like to know what I’m talking about before I speak. All right.”

Somebody’s not getting enough sleep; which is a huge change from the last guy who went to bed at 9pm, didn’t like to read unless it was a pop up book, and took a record number of vacations…

For anyone messing with him or his budget, he offered this…

(Worlds smallest violin)

Do I like the entire budget? No. Does it follow an old economic axiom of “It takes money to make money”? Yes…

With just 64 days in, I’ll give “jump shot” the benefit of the doubt. I will say it looks like he could use a nap, and maybe one of these…

(Don’t “tuggie my Snuggie” sucka’s!)

Besides, if we do get electric cars some genius will eventually give me the comedy gold of electrocuting themselves while trying to “fill up” the battery…

So we’ve got that going for us…

Fixing Love

How do you get back with your ex and reconcile problems? Well let’s see…

(You seem happy)

You could try talking quietly to truly understand each other. You could go to conseuling/see a therapist. You could even take an interest in their interests…

Or…

You could handcuff yourself to them…

Then when they try to call the police; bite them…

(This says “I love you”)

Thirty seven year-old Helen Sun opted for the last one.

While trying to get back together with her ex-husband, she handcuffed herself to him as he slept, then bite him as he phoned police…

The reason? She wanted to have a conversation without him leaving. I think the whole reason people leave during a conversation, is because the conversation sucks. That’s really the beauty of the conversation, you can vote on the quality of it with your physical presence. If you take that away, now you’re really just an employer during a shitty sales meeting. Money is the only reason someone will listen to you babble on and on with no connective, rational thoughts. Think about it, that’s why you have therapists, strippers, and realtors…

The ironic part? She was arrested and placed in…you guessed it…handcuffs…

Have a day!