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Bracketology Made Easy…

March 19th, 2009

Turn your brackets in today at Kevin’s cubical before 11am!

What? You don’t know what you’re doing?

bracketology-ur-doing-it-wrong.jpg(Pull something out of your ass champ)

Join the club. It’s called the “I don’t remotely know what the f-train I’m doing for my NCAA March Madness bracket” club. The sign outside of our building for the club was really expensive…

Fear not funky friends, I’m here to help in these times of great struggle…

march-milf-madness-01.jpg(MILF Madness)

Here are five simple things to remember when selecting a team to win:

1) Pick a team that rhymes with a swear word. That way, even when they loose, it’s really fun yelling it as they crumble down the stretch
2) Make at least five teams illegible while including letters from both teams. That way, you can say you picked who ever the winner was
3) Root for the team you didn’t pick. If your luck is so shitty that every team you cheer for looses, then the opposite might be true
4) Shave your selected winner of the tournament in your back hair. That way, when you lose, you’ll have a reminder to never get involved in this stupid shit again
5) Break down in tears & start pounding the floor screaming “why!” when your team looses. People leave crying men alone, then we can all go on with our lives

Remember, if you win, we split the money 100% to zero…

You get the zero, because I work for AIG…

Can’t Live On $43 Million

A wife’s divorcing CEO United Technologies and can’t live on $43 million dollars…

Marie Douglas-David, a former investment banker, says she has no income and needs her 67-year-old husband, George David, to pay her more than $53,000 a week — more than most U.S. households make in a year — to cover her expenses…

divorcee.jpg(The guys look says it all)

Is she wiping her ass with gold toilet paper? Who does she think she is, Michael Jackson without the monkey and kid humping tendencies?

$53,000 is a nice house in Detroit for shit sakes!

Listen bitch, the only difference between you, wall street, and bank robbers is a Swedish vagina. The judge should laugh her ass out of court giving her zero…

Dude, George. Let’s talk. I’ll blow you everyday for the rest of your life and only ask for $5 million. Compared to “Betty ball buster” I’m a total freaking bargain. I’ll cuddle afterwards, and won’t bitch at you for watching Sports Center…

Because I’ll want to watch it too…

RIP

Actress Natasha Richardson passed away after a freak ski accident. She was a bright light, and powerful talent. Like Mark Twain once said, “Pay no attention to the papers, but watch the audience.”…

natasha_richardson.jpg(Classy)

She’ll be missed. Have a day!


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