Here it comes…
At the office: “Before my presentation on green Geothermal gaskets, I’d like to dedicate this power point presentation to 9/11 and will set my slides to Toby Keith’s Courtesy of The Red, White, and Blue(The angry American song). Slide one…nitrile rubber…”
(Fact: with a flag guitar, I love America more than you!)
In school: With gym Teacher Mr. Junk:
Mr. Junk
Alright! Before we begin dodge ball today, let’s all clasp hands, have a moment of silence to remember the events of 9/11…
Billy
I’m only 8. What’s 9/11?
Mr. Junk
It’s a day when all these faggoty brown towel heads in the middle east flew airplanes into buildings, killing 3,000 American and starting war with us. That’s why were in Iraq. So now every year we have to listen to to crappy country singers, politicians, and public figures who exploit the day for their own gains. Oh, and we gotta buy lots of stuff…
Billy
That seems a tad glib. My father says Al-Qaeda and their leader Osama Bin Laden took responsibility for those horrible events, and we still have not brought him to justice. He also says Iraq had nothing to do with 9/11, and has been a massive disaster by…
Mr. Junk
(Blows whistle) Everyone pelt Billy!
At Restaurants: “Welcome to Denny’s, would you like to try our 9/11 plater? It’s six sausage links making the number 9 and three strips of bacon making the slash 11 (pause) moon over my hammy it is!”
In homes: Don’t you dare poke your sister like that! What would 9/11 say? The boy says, “But she called me a fart face…”. The parent quickly replies, “9/11, 9/11, 9/11, 9/11, 9/11, 9/11“…
We’re Americans. Those horrific moments are ingrained in our minds forever…
But anyone who uses 9/11 to attract attention and get there point across today is a “fear fucker”. You heard me. They’re not remembering, honoring, commemorating, and respecting. They’re evoking, fucking with, and pissing over everything we hold dear just to sell you something. Enough!
Lipstick Gate 08
(It’s harder to lie about blowing a donut with sprinkles)
Here’s the McCain ad:
The only problem was, he was talking to John McCain, not Palin. Obama actually said…
(Using 9/11 for a neat PR stop. Who else used a carrier for a PR stop declaring Mission Accomplished? Hum? Can’t remember? Oh yeah, Bush!)
Silly season? More like “flat out lying bullshit asshole trying to fuck over the country by any means necessary in order to win” season. Granted it is harder to get on a business card…
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