MC Hammer sang, “You Got To Pray”. Then again, he wasn’t in the NFL, had hair gayer then Kid-N-Play, and wore goofy-ass-pants that could house a family of 5…

(“Can’t Touche This”, “Don’t Want Too”)

An Oakland Raiders cornerback says he was penalized Sunday for making a religious display while celebrating an interception. After a pick in the end zone, Chris Johnson celebrated by dropping to his knees and raising his arms in triumph…

(We suck “this much”)

Flag for Excessive Celebration. Did he break the rule? Yep. Is it a big deal since the Raiders suck harder than a crack whore looking for a few duckets? Nope…

Why didn’t god stick up for him you might ask? Pretty sure god doesn’t need praise. When you create the entire fuckin’ universe, interceptions are pretty pedestrian…

Listen Up Obama!

You best have a Public Option in any final bill for Health care legislation. If you don’t, I suggest you stretch, grab your ankles, pucker up, and kiss your ass goodbye…

(Awww, how blow uppity cute)

Your support’ll plummet like interest in Jon and Kate, and Chicago’s Olympic hopes…

People elected you based on your promises. That means end don’t ask don’t tell, fix Health Care with a Public Option, end Iraq, and shift the front to Afghanistan.

(Don’t we all)

1 out of 3 won’t cut it ace…

That puts you on pace with lawyers, action movie villains, and used car salesmen…

Lock it up…

Have a day!