It’ll be a raucous caucus in Iowa this Tuesday

They know how to really fuck shit up for realz

(“Where’s alligator wrestling?”)

But Rick “Frothy” Santorum is making a run

He jumped to third behind Paul & Romney

(Is that table for sale?)

“Turd” rhymes with “third”, & “Mitt” with “shit”

It’s almost like Iowa has now become a GOP clown car

(Is that a skunk?)

Where new goofy candidates keep emerging from it

Better Get Them The Right Fucking Team

What happens when you get your kid the wrong

(Bad gift)

Team gift? Well, it doesn’t end well at all. Click

The crying was awwwwwwwesome. She was sad

(Son of a bitch!)

But unlike the upcoming Cubs & Sox seasons it

Had a very happy ending with her getting southpaw

Have a day!