Newt signed a conservative values pledge from

(It’s Douche Gingrich)

The Iowa-based group The Family Leader this week

As a guy who committed adultry twice he’s ballsy

(“Damn right you signed it”)

It’d be like a twice convected bank robber

Signing a “I’d never touch another vault” pledge

(He’s good to go)

And basically saying, “I’ll never allow gay marriage”

Funny, he’s trying to protect the sanctity of something

He doesn’t respect, do, or even remotely try to follow

Mr. Potato Head, I…love…you. Hypocrisy de jour?

(They makes mugs now?)

Next up, he’s going to sign a pledge not to take $

From Freddie Mac which he already did. Zing

Have a day!