Master Debaters Clusterfuckery

November 10th, 2011

Last night was the Republican debate hosted by CNBC

It was supposed to be a debate on the global economy


But every Republican only wanted to talk about our domestic economy

With 3 ideas: tax cuts, cut all spending, & cut all levels of government

(Tried it from 2001-08)

That’s it. We played a drinking game, where you if heard:

Free market, private sector solution, tax cuts, cut spending

Washington’s broken, let you keep more, too big to fail

(I make no sense)

Get government out of the way, grow the economy, freedom

You had to drink. We were shitfaced in the 1st 5 minutes

Rick Perry can’t remember three government areas he’d cut

(Maybe one is his mic)

But he’s sure he wants to cut them. Wow, his campaign is over

Herman Cain won’t address his accusers allegations at all

But he’ll sure tell you about his largely discredited 999 plan

(999 damnit)

In fact, it was his answer everytime. I totally shit you not

It was his answer even when that wasn’t the question

How will you address the financial crisis in Italy from effecting us?

(9-9-9 fuckers!)

Cain: My 999 plan(questioner asks again citing he didn’t answer)

How will you get our job market going jump starting our economy?

Cain: My 999 plan(wait what the fuck?)

How will you avoid being caught lying on camera about harassment?

(Bet it’s 999)

Cain: It’s all about my 999 plan

I’m positive you’re not even listening to these words right now?

Cain: When you want some fine wine, it’s time for my 9-9-9

(Wow, I got nothing)

What sticks it to the middle & working class families favoring the rich?

Cain: My 999 plan

What’s a steaming pile of shit that virtually every economist discredits?

Cain: It’s clearly my 9-9-9 plan

What should you roll up, then cram directly up your own asshole?

Cain: My 9-9-9 plan

(My choke & punch plan)

The entire Republican party debates have become something new

Like a strange factually incorrect circus of corporately owned

Crazy lying puppets for the top 1% who are all fucking stupid

The best candidate on the stage last night was Jon Huntsman

Speaking Of Jon’s, Super Moron Divine Jon Corzine

Ex-Democrat New Jersey governor Jon Conzine can’t handle money

The good people of Jersey already figured that out so bye dipshit

But he killed a company called MF Global by basically betting

(I’m a big dickhole)

This goofy ass bet everything on propping up all of Europe’s debt

He said: “I feel great sadness for what has transpired at MF Global

& the impact it has had on the firm’s clients, employees & others”

No, you took their money, & fucking blew it all you moron

Every casino is holding a “Jon Corzine Night” to make more $

Have a day!

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