The “Donald” fired himself from a presidential bid. He said:

(“Sit on my finger”)

“Business is my greatest passion and I am not ready to leave the private sector”

Yes, by “business” you mean making sure Meat Loaf and Busey don’t rob a bank

But he did make jokes happen so often is was like Christmas morning


Knowing they’d all be there waiting when you woke up

Face it, the guy’s doucher than a Summers Eve factory

But he’ll be missed

Newt’s Big Gay Rainbow…

No, it’s not the name of the new GOP show on ice or ironic trendy NYC Club

It’s a box of Cheez-it’s containing glitter

That was dumped on Newts head by a protester who said:

(He’s catching “The Gay”)

“Feel the rainbow, Newt. Stop the hate. Stop anti-gay politics

It’s dividing our country, and it’s not fixing our economy”

Hard to argue with the sentiments, but come on buddy…

(“So long 2012 bid!”)

You didn’t get him to change his mind. You never will

Now he just thinks “Man, all fags carry glitter in Cheez-it boxes”

Meh, it could of been a box of emperor scorpions

That woulda been a huge dick move…just sayin’…

Have a day!

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