“Hey turds, did I miss anything big this weekend?”

(Check me out suckas!)

Osama Bin Laden is dead

If you didn’t hear, the rock you live under is too heavy and stops sound

(Wrong “Rock”)

Now, I’m not saying it’s odd to celebrate the death of someone…

But it’s sort of odd to celebrate the death of someone

It’s not either good nor bad. It simply is a historic event that happened

It’s not like terrorism suddenly ended

Or even more stupid hateful pricks won’t sprout up in his place

(I don’t remember this one)

It’s just the end of the one “Massive asshole guy who planned 9/11”

There are two things you can count on in this world:

Taxes, and a limitless, never ending supply of assholes

(Less “essence” then)

Well, make it three…

Taxes, limitless supply of assholes, and people using religion to hate others

Seen on Afghanistan Craig’s List:

“Cozy 3 person cave with dialysis machine in tact

Great for goats, C4 storage, & blind irrational hate. Must go now!”

Have a day!