The 112th Congress convenes today…

(Get up, time for work!)

Meaning they only get their syllabus & jag off the rest of the day…

Like the 1st of day of school after the summer break…

You watch The Apple Dumpling Gang, eat cupcakes, fart, and nap

Republicans accept they must do more than just oppose Obama’s every proposal

(Lick it up)

Which’ll be new since that’s all they did that the past two years

Screaming “No” and holding your breathe won’t cut it. But oh how they’ll try…

The new speaker of the house is “Tan Man In A Can” Jon Boehner

(Is that “whore red” lipstick?)

Which means the next to get the gavel with be yelling, “Who had Cheeto fingers?!?!”

And in an effort to change his image, he’ll perform Pagliacci for the chamber

Then when he can’t carry a tune with suit case handles

He’ll turn and blame Democrats…

Well you Tea Turds got skin in it now, so let’s see how you lead…

Here’s watching you struggle while governing. Easier to shout, than lead…

Andy Gibbs Little Brother Robert Steps Down From White House

Turns out the White House has to get another press secretary

(But can the pants be tighter?)

Which means it’s like every other White House…

They go through more press reps than OJ Simpson

Meh, he was at least pretty funny

(A happy omelette?)

Unless you’re Palin or a Tea Parter, then you don’t really get the joke

Have a day!