There was an oxygen limit on how long each of us could be in the room together…
(Look at that space!)
It would beep after a minute, then one of us would have to leave
The shower was so tiny I felt like I was six years old again
Taking a bath in the kitchen sink with the spray gun…
(Naturally)
Meet these two really nice Canadian guys in the airport bar on my way home
They were up on sports, society, and other stuff. We talked about how Canada gets blamed for everything while there stupid as fuck southern brother Mexico gets away with bloody murder…literally. Crazy ass drug cartels I’m looking in your direction
They restored my faith in meeting normal people in the airport
NYC crowds are something else. They’re great. When you get laughs from them…
(Tough room)
You earned it. If not, well, they’re not buying your bullshit
NYC’s like your blunt cousin who says the most horrific stuff…
Like aunt Debbie’s Kankles, Dad’s farts, and uncle Billy’s liver spotted skin…
But they ain’t lying bout it…
Cabs in NYC each have their own distinct “aroma”
(Ah, a “wet taint” cab)
One cab smelled of BO & nuts. Another like an unkempt doctors office
While you have others smell like poor career choices mixed with public radio…
Obama Vs. Himself On Tax Cuts
Obama seems to have a serious problem with…Obama
(I disagree with myself)
Don’t be silly, everyone with firing synapse knows he had no choice in the matter
Republicans were politically smart with zero soul. Shit, that’s their wheelhouse
It was healthcare or this. I’d of guessed he could do both from his talk
Guess when you’re bending over, it gets easier as the days in prison pass
Here’s hoping 99% of the country publicly tells the top 3% to fuck themselves
(It’s a motto)
Republicans would still pass it, because they don’t give a rats ass about the 99%
21st century Republicans motto:
“Getting people to vote against their own pocketbook and interests since 1999”
Progressives, you best add some good things to this bill
Like free ice cream Friday’s, a petting zoo, or hernia checks by playmates…
Since you’re giving the cow away for free
Have a day!
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