Dressing up your pets until they resent you by shitting in your shoes?

Combing your hair for hours only to figure out you’re bald?

Watching Tivo’d re-runs of Silver Spoons or Punky Brewster?

How about watching the greatest football rivalry in the history of forever?

Bear vs. Packers tonight on MNF

(It’s a look. Is that a wig?)

I can’t help but think the Bears have a real shot

Then again, I thought the same thing in the 2006 Super Bowl

And that turned out to be a man pushing a piano uphill with his dick

(Man playing a piano who was a Dick)

Please, for the sake of keeping our TV screens unshattered in Chicago…

Don’t fuck this up Bears…no pressure…

Oh, and if you do suck tonight Bears, then suck super big…

Give Rodgers 7 touchdowns and 600 yards. My brother needs it in fantasy…

Have a day!