Three things to know…

August 30th, 2008

Michael Jackson turns the big 5-0!

michael-jackson-early-years.jpg(Michael shows the exact sized sphincter he prefers)

It’s nice to finally know we have a proud member of the AARP who still has the stamina to fuck children. For the big event he decided to lay low by playing with his candles and blowing all his kids!

McCain picked a cougar for VP…

alaska_palin.jpg(Sarah vows to make the “high five” mandatory at all campaign events)

Sara Palin will go for the ever elusive “Who cares about her experience, I’m suburban, white, over 40 and just want to bada bang her” vote. Only a matter of seconds before a wave of “I want to drill in Alaska, and know exactly where to start” jokes appear…

And glorified Chicago sports blogger wind bag know it all asshat Jay Mariotti is finally done at the Sun-Times! Ding dong the douche is dead…

060818.jpg(Billy Ray Cyrus called, he wants his hair back)

That no talent opinionated half wit attempted to write sports columns from the lofty place of never having attended a game, being present in the clubhouse/locker room, or talking to players before he reported. It made him about as qualified as an armless arm wrestler to rip managers, players, and GM’s. Besides, anyone who buttons the top button on a shirt without wearing a tie is a fucking turd stick…

When an even keeled, talented writer/film reviewer like Rodger Ebert writes an open letter to Jay ending in, “On your way out, don’t let the door bang you on the ass.”…you know he was a huge pile of baby batter…

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