She was like Shawn Johnson on the balance beam, like crown molding, and like her husband Bill with anything in a skirt…she nailed it!

hillary-dnc-speech.jpg(She pees on the podium to mark her territory)

Here’s stuff we know. She’s fake. She’s a politician. Like almost all politicians, her eyes should be brown because she’s so full of shit. But when all is said and done, she had a job to do last night, and did it perfectly…

Unite the party Marty! Big time pantsuits off to her…

There’s even a new kids rhyme that goes, “Obama’s momma had party and all her friends were there…Hillary Billary nailed McCain sillary, and got much needed fresh air”

She got a standing ovation for walking on the stage. Just for walking on a stage. Wow! It lasted more three minutes. She thought that was amazing, but later found out it was because at that exact moment the Pepsi Center staff finally refilled all the free beer kegs, garlic bread trays, and condom dispensers…

During the cheers, her husband Bill was teary eyed in his seat mouthing, “I love you. I love you. I love you.” Hillary found out, he was looking at porn star Tabitha Stevens…

stern24.jpg(Guess which one she is. It’s hard, both are set to “whore”)

I love low standards. Way to go Hillary, you didn’t suck…

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