Avoid this!

August 12th, 2008

Take one helium balloon, three squirrel-like rodents, $3.99 in the bargain bin, and what do you get?

(Theodore’s packing a glock)

Alvin and the Chipmunks the movie! You know if you have kids, or a younger niece/nephew, or friends who have kids, chances are you’ve had to watch this by default, and probably like me, were not happy about it. Their little voices wear on you like rubbing 12-grit sand paper on your face. With that in mind, here’s a detailed “list of things I’d rather do than watch another second of this film”:

1) Shave the back hair of elderly folk
2) Staple my face to my ass
3) Listen to Lindsay Lohan talk
4) Dip my scrotum in lava
5) Eat a years supply of my own feces, with no breaks

Was going to write, “Watch Norbit five times”, but realized even I have limits…

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