Some people are freaking out about a Mosque being built near ground zero

(My knee jerk right wing bigots)

1st off, it’s not a mosque, it’s a community center

Yes, a tiny place of worship will be offered

2nd, there’s already a Mosque just doors away from ground zero(80 feet)…

(Call it Mosque-Donald’s)

This one is slated 2 blocks away. I guess they forgot about the 1st one…

After all Tea Baggers are the defenders of the constitution

Until they’re not cause they think freedom of religion is stupid

(Nicely done!)

Having to remain intellectually honest with an irrational argument style is hard

This is just ignorance of basic facts in the constitution hiding behind hate

Have a day!

Sure you could try e-harmony, J-date, or Adultfriend finder

(This way baby)

But for a guy who likes tennis, quesadillas, & long walks on the beach with a penguin

It’s a lil’ harder. It’s not like they have a website for that shit…yet

Have a day!

Always answering a question nobody asked…incorrectly…

(Stay inside the lines)

I love when Conservative Tea Tards invoke the 1st amendment

It’s hilarious

After all, only they get to use it because only they know how to use it

Palin thinks Dr. Douchehuts 1st amendment rights were violated?

(Wash, rinse, repeat)

Her tweet-tard comment on this whole issue that has unfolded before our eyes: “Dr.Laura=even more powerful & effective w/out the shackles,so watch out Constitutional obstructionists. And b thankful 4 her voice, America!)”

Thanks again for showing

You don’t know jack shit about that constitution you talk so much about Palin

I can totally remember when Sarah stood up for David Letterman’s right to free speech when he made a joke about her daughter. Oh wait, she actually galvanized pressure in a glorious display of hypocrisy until he was forced to apologize on air

But she made up for it when she supported Family Guy’s right to depict a character with Down Syndrome as the child of an Alaskan governor right? Oh, wait a second, she never did that either. In fact she flew off the handle demanding heads roll

Tea Turds only support your 1st amendment rights if you agree with them

(No! Team Edward)

As long as mics or cameras are stuck in their face

The Palin’s & Dr. Laura’s of this world will always have something stupid to say

And it’s their right

(Insert stupid shit here)

But it’s not their right to limit others 1st amendment rights in reacting…

At that point ladies, you can kindly go fuck yourself

Have a day!

Most US students think Beethoven is a dog…

(A dog? Well I did get tail)

According to some students at Beloit College in Wisconsin

Can’t really say I’m shocked at this point…

(What a composer!)

They also thought of Sarajevo as a war zone, didn’t know how to tie a tie

And thought Iran and Iraq were never at war with each other

(Look for signs)

Oh yeah, and Mike Tyson was always a “Felon” not a “feared boxer”…

Wasn’t he both? Tyson thanks The Hangover for helping his career

Speaking Of Stupid

A growing poll number says that people think Obama is Muslim

(”Yes, the dipshit in the back”)

It’s now 18% up from 11%. That’s 1 in 5 people

Never mind he attended Christian Church for 20 years

So if you’re talking to five people and one is stupid as all fuck…

Congratulations, you found one of the 18%

Have a day!

But only on ONE count?

(Everyday’s a “bad hair” day)

Really? I thought his hair alone was worth 10 counts

So he’s guilty of lying to the FBI, but NOT selling a US Senate seat?

(Nice duds)

How exactly does that happen? Was the voice on the tape NOT his?

It’d be like getting busted for lying to parents about where you were going for the weekend, but NOT busted for actually going to the strip club only being 17 years-old. It makes no fucking sense at all. My best guess is that juror #11 has a book to sell

(Winner!)

Now they’re going to re-trial with “Lego Hair” again

Knock the counts down to 4 and make em stick like Velcro to Chewbacca’s hair

Dr. Laura Dr. Douchin’ It Up!

One “N” word at a time…

(”I suck this much!”)

If you haven’t heard, she had an exchange with a caller what went like this:

“Black guys use it all the time

Turn on HBO, or listen to a black comic & all you hear is BLEEP BLEEP BLEEP”

(Her teeth hurt my eyes)

She used it 11 times in 5 minutes to prove a point. After all she’s a Doctor…

Of physiology, not psychology

Her radio show is done after this year, which is a shitty thing for racists

(Well said stupid lady)

Now all they have left is El Rushbo…

Man, shit’s crazy when White People use the race card like Amex at the mall

And her run for political office with Palin & Bachmann coming in 3…2…1

Have a day!

Now it’s all rocks, and bottles, and bags of feces

Tila Tequila was pelted with all those things to get this:

(Wait, who owns this photo again?)

Sure Tila Tequila is reality trash, but throwing rocks, bottle, and feces?

Way to lower IQ’s one point at a time Hardin County Illinois…

You guessed it, the people who did it are followers of the Insane Clown Posse

(”How do toilets flush?”)

Who still don’t know fucking magnets work. Their fans are called “juggalos”

They also go by “Future Felons”, “Mega Jags”, and “Stroke jobs”

(Be less of a man…man)

What’s the difference between and a “toilet” and “juggalos”?

Nothing. They’re both white, smell, and are totally full of shit

Have a day!

Rod “this shit is golden” Blagojevich is waiting to see if he goes to “pretend prison”

(No ice-cream? That’s bull#$%^!)

If it was “pound the ass you’re my bitch” prison, that’d be different…

The jurors have agreed on 2 of the 24 counts. Not to be a dick here

Or a lawyer, because it’s sometimes the same thing, but why that many?

(His hair looks better)

How about like 4 counts so you don’t confuse an already overwhelmed jury

Meh, like my flight from Florida recently, we’re stuck in a holding pattern

(Don’t “lose” this one)

But here’s hoping it ends landing “Lego Hair” behind bars

Have a day!

A “Douchebag Police”?

(Nice sign)

Think of all the great moments that would cause…

Watching someone being a super douche getting issued a ticket for it

Or seeing someone get pulled over while “driving under doucheness”

Have a day!

You might ask, what’s the difference between a “Moron”, & a “Super Moron”?

(”I’m a douche-hole)

Super Morons posses a superior ignorance unseen on the planet

Their kryptonite is facts, reality, or policy

Ben Quayle is the son of former VP under HW Bush who spelled “Potato”

(Way to go!)

Correcting a little kid and adding the “e”

What did Ben say? “Barrack Obama is the worst president in history”

I had no idea 1 year and 8 months could do all that

(Ben’s favorite book)

But it did just because Ben said so…

He also thinks the world is flat, Unicorns exist, and all minorities are racist

It sure as hell wasn’t specific Bush policy of starting two wars, giving a 6 trillion dollar tax cut to the top 3%, never doing any Wall Street regulation, & all his massive spending that helped create it. Naaaaaaaaaaaaaaw couldn’t be…

(I’m lying to your face right now)

Cause Ben is smarte, just his fathere

Have a day!

Face it, this Steven Slater guy’s the Justin Beiber for middle class working folks…

Dudes a Facebook rockstar…

(Nice sack…of chips)

I did this sketch about it here, enjoy

Him doing the late-night show circuit in 3…2…1

Wipe Your Ass

If not…

You get skid marks, and now it’s twice as hard to get them clean

(This guy has skid marks)

Especially the white one’s with a brown racing strip

Let’s just say I speak from experience on this…

Have a day!