I know what you’re thinking…

(Wrong weiner. It is in prison?)

Sadly no. It’s just never been that “cool” or “fun” of a blog to show someones junk…

Going “Ballistic”

(THIS Weiner goes balistic)

Democratic NY representative Anthony Weiner decided to let Republicans have a piece of his mouth. Yes he’s right. Republicans are always gonna be the party of “No”

And “Obama must fail at all costs”…

(I have a sign attached to my head)

They still haven’t figured out, if Obama fails, they got no jobs

Because 2012 happened and Palin was elected

Well Rangle My Taxes

Speaking of Democrats from New York…

Charlie “Front meat hump” Rangle is more crooked than an Irish Shalalee

(Charlie blows it)

He’s in trouble for tax evasion, hidden off shore accounts, and

(The Rangle “Meat Hump”)

Having an older guy blob of flesh covering his wenis

Have a day!

Literally

(Oddly, they’ll never see this)

They’ve doubled their population in Elizabethtown PA in the last 20 years

Wow, I guess without ipods, TV, & interent…

(Sounds right)

You’re just left with having sex & making babies

I feel sorry for Amish women

They’ll never know the sheer joys of a dishwasher, a microwave, or a vibrator…

(Wacky)

But mostly a microwave. Think of all the Bagel-fuls, & popcorn their missing out on

BTW, Amish DJ’s suck…

Speaking Of Babies, Iran Will Pay Top $ For Them

Unless they’re gay, black, Iraqi, or anything else that isn’t 100% Iranian

(”I paid top $ for you”)

Then it’s no cash, and you must get rid of them

Oh, they must also be born with full Ahmadinejad beards

And be supplied with tiny Members Only tan coats. It’s the law

Have a day!

Basically it’s “My client’s a couple clowns short of a full circus, but he’s no criminal”

(”I’m just stupid, yeah, that’s it”)

Really? That’s the best you got? Honestly? This defense lawyer is as nutty as Rod

No, “It was a one armed man”? How about “The devil made me do it”? Insanity?

(True, just so true)

Just looking at his fucking helmet hair cinches the last one for sure

For the verdict, I’ll bet you $20 that Blagojevich decides to take off his regular Lego helmet hair, & puts on a rainbow colored Mohawk with Mr. T gold chains. Just sayin’…

(Noooooooice)

He’s going down like an elevator who’s cables have been cut

Madreadful Bullshit

Bullfighting is over in Spain

(”Whoa, that was close Bob!”)

Now think of all the young kids who will never know the sheer joy of watching a man with a cape get gored. If you look close enough on the Spanish flag, a bull is being stabbed in the face by a matador. The mascot is called “Bully McFace Stab”

(Looks close, it’s there)

Kids have to play Mature video games, & watch fucked up movies for that

Have a day!

FOX does what it does best. Lie like a teenager busted with weed…

(Nice shirt. Turd brown?)

By now you’ve heard about Shirley Sherrod by now. If not, here’s the story

She, spoke at an NAACP meeting and related a story from 1986

It was about confronting and overcoming her own racial issues

Most people think this is a great thing. However, not FOX. Can you guess why?

(Lead story)

Because Andrew “Racial issues” Breitbart is the source of this BS

This farthat, this hack, this evil shallow pile of squirrel shit is at it again

FOX news current MO appears to be in trying to create racial fears in White People

And the Breitbarts of this world feed it with lies, hate, & ignorance

(Goes down smooth every time!)

What did the pussy White House do? Roll over like a fucking odometer

They fired her on the FOX edited lying clip, without even watching the entire content of what she said in context. That’s almost worse to me. Honestly shitty stuff here

You can’t ever appease FOX. You just can’t. It only encourages them

FOX is the massive douche bully on block. They only understand one thing

A sock to the nose. They won’t respond to anything else. They’re incapable of it

(You’ll try)

After listening, and watching the entire unedited/doctored tape, it was all lies

But look at the damage from this insane lying ignorance

Have a day!

Catches your attention, no?

(Puke…coming…up)

Just think of the Incredible Hulk puking after a heavy night of hulk-like partying…

(Hulk, like to party harty)

It’d be “Incredible Puke” from a big green Incredible guy…

But no, it was when I went on the Hulk ride at Universal Florida

(The “Hurlinator”)

Someone had a “Gamma Spill”(true story)

Surely a sign of a great ride when it can pull the contents of kids stomachs out

(Hulk & Batman dating?)

I’m assuming Spider-Man makes em shit themselves, so I’ll pass

Oh, and “yes”, we went on the Harry Potter ride. It’s an amazing experience

But I got Hogwarts, and then broke my wand

Things You Shouldn’t Do

(Good advice)

-Piss on cops shoes while he’s writing you a ticket
-Read the “comments section” on any Yahoo article
-Start crying loudly when someone at work calls you into their office
-Shit your pants, then change yourself on a bathroom “diaper deck”
-Use a magic wand pointing at a person talking & say, “Shut your mouthious!”
-Go to any water park in a bright neon yellow Speedo
-When at a public toilet going #1 shout, “Oh my god it burns!”

Enjoyed vacation, but it’s great to be back in action. Thanks out to all you ass kickingly great people who follow this silly crap. I’m humbled and grateful. Now go do something absolutely terribly wrong today, and then blame me for all of it…

Have a day!

Jimmy Buffets creepy older brother “Warren” visited the White House…

(I ordered the ham on rye!)

To say, “We’re half way there” in the recovery, economically speaking

For a dude with a $47 billion dollar fortune…

Maybe his “half” & my “half” are pretty fucking far apart

But economists say we are coming out of this, so let’s say we “turned a corner”

Let’s just hope there’s not a Mack truck coming at us

Batman 3

Awesometown….

(Ah the Riddler)

But blogs are now leading with “But the Joker won’t be back”? No shit…

No one else but Heath could ever play him…

Except maybe Treat Williams, or the guy who played Greg Brady…

(Johnny Bravo)

If Batman was black would he be called the Darker Knight?

Just sayin’…

I’m on vacation until Monday July 26th. First vacation from the blog since it started in August of 2008. Just make sure to look around and check out older posts…

They’re just like yummy leftovers, without the reheating part

Have a day!

It’s done. Argentina legalized same sex marriage

(Wait, we did it?!?!)

America’s now behind Mexico, Uruguay, Colombia, and now Argentina socially

By “behind” I don’t mean “rear guests” or anything, just sayin’…

Sen. Norma Morandini on this historic occasion decided to publicly state, “What defines us is our humanity, and what runs against humanity is intolerance”

(So does underarm flab lady)

Well then you’ve never been to Oklahoma, Tennessee, or Texas…

They serve intolerance like fine wine to be sipped and savored with every meal

(The ol’ “god” excuse)

To be followed up by an alcohol infused wife beating

Teatards Still Serving Their Brand Of Crazy

Tea Party’s at it again. This time with a new sign-o-the-crimes

(Classy!)

It was the North Iowa Tea Party that designed the billboard, then had the sign quickly papered over with a temporary, non-political message. The chapter’s co-founder Bob Johnson admitted he understood why the image had been criticized

Johnson stated, “The image of Hitler just totally wiped everything else and it misrepresents the Tea Party movement,” Johnson told the AP. “They were right from the standpoint that the image was not a positive reflection on the tea people”

Um dude, you ARE the Tea People moron. You’re the chapters co-founder

The billboard YOU put up, represents YOU

(Just a heads up)

*Slaps hand to forehead*

That’s sort of like the co-founder of a movieplex chain putting up a billboard about the another movie-plex owner that says, “That movieplex pisses in your popcorn” then says, “The pissing in the popcorn part misrepresents our movieplex”

No it doesn’t. It’s exactly what you said. Exactly…

These people are living stupid city, population them

Have a day!

We have this little nugget…

(Now we’re love cause Sarah said so)

How do you think this all went down?

Levi: I want back in. The world is cold & sucks

Palin: Well shit face, listen up. Only two ways that remotely happens. Public apology by swearing allegiance only to me, and marry my stupid assed daughter…

Bristol: Mom, I don’t even like him anymore. There’s this really sweet nice honest Barista named Steve at the Coffee Clutch I like. He sings, writes poetry, reads…

Palin: Shut your word hut missy. You’re not marrying some progressive Stalin Nazi Hitler hippie baby killer. You’re marrying this super turd cause he’s really weak…

(Sign her up)

It shouldn’t be called Us, or People…

They should merge the magazines and call it People Who Aren’t Like Us

Have a day!

Green eggs and sham decided Lebron is being persecuted

Now get this, much like “a runaway slave”

(Is that what Jesus would do?)

*Lays race card down*

Jesse decided to inject race into a debate where there isn’t any. He said, “His feelings of betrayal personify a slave master mentality. He sees LeBron as a runaway slave”

(Glass house, stones. Check)

If anything, that disrespects runaway slaves

And if that’s a runaway slave, where the fuck do I sign?

Shit, for $100,000,000 you can permanently dye me black…

Don’t get me wrong, I like Jesse. He’s like a media circus ring leader. I get his bit and respect it. He’s like a racial carnival barker looking to put asses in the seats. Check, got it. The issue I have here is his premise. Race plays no part of this at all to me

(It comes in white? Really?)

It’s not his bit. His material doesn’t fit here, but he’s sure as shit trying…

This is all about a powerful super star, who publicly acted like a spoiled douche. Then the owner of the team, financially hurt by this decision, decided to act like a baby by name calling and making stupid wild predictions about winning and losing

(Getting booed is part of it)

It’s like someone breaking up with you over the cafeteria loud speaker demeaning you in front of everyone for no good reason. The leaving is legit, but the way you did it sucks. No one deserves that kind of humiliation. Except maybe Glenn Beck…

But to even things out, with everyone watching, you shout in return, “Fine, I’ll fuck 1 zillion playmates before you have sex once”. Only a couple problems with that…

Your broke, ugly, and have a small penis. You’re Cleveland

Have a day!

Then posts it on Facebook…

(What? Can’t hear, my shirts too loud)

The artist currently known as “Skinny little fucker who wears purple” said this while trying to promote his new album 20Ten, not using the internet at all. Oh, I get it, rip the thing you’re not using, then give away an album for free in The Daily Mirror?

(I’m super smart)

Wait, I don’t get it…

Now people who receive a copy of the CD for free with the Mirror, will turn around…

Only to sell it for $30 or higher on…now get this…

THE INTERNET…

(Whoopsie)

If he ever has a kid, I’d name him Finger Prince, Prince Of Persia, or Todd

Have a day!