Oh Newty Newty Newty. They are many names you could go by:
(“Hey “hot tits”, I got a deal”)
Dr. Blowhard, Mr. Potato Head Lying Machine, or Bag-Of-Dicks
Remember when he blasted CNN’s King on the “open marriage”
question? You know, the damningly true facts from his past?
(Yummy)
Welp, turns out ol’ Newt was lying. Nooooooooo, say it ain’t so…
BOD(Bag Of Dicks) in the debate & recently on CNN & said this:
Every personal friend I have who knew us in that period said the
story was false. We offered several of them to ABC to prove it was
false. They weren’t interested…they’d like to attack any Republican
(“Hi, I was just lying about you”)
Turns out, that’s not remotely true at all. The “several” he really had
Was, now get this, his two fucking daughters from his 1st marriage
His lies & overall “dick-a-tude” are growing with each passing day
(Moobs)
At the debate John King totally blew it, but now he wants to redo it?
The time to do that was then by saying, “Hey, her charge is clear
You claim to be a family values guy, & this shows bigtime hypocrisy”
(Sweep the leg Johnny)
He didn’t, he backed down like a dog newspaper swatted on the nose
Or like the main kid in any 80’s movie being challenged to a big fight
It’s Newt or Romney America. Sorry, but these turds just won’t flush
Another Fucking Republican Debate, Seriously?
It’s just like bad reality TV, only really great for all comedy writers
(Whoops, two are gone)
The over and under on tonight’s debate broken down by candidate:
-Time’s Santorm bashes the gays over/under is 5
-Time’s Newt says somethin dickish/bigoted/anti-media over/under is 20
-Time’s Ron Paul actually gets to answer a question over/under is 2
-Times Mitt Romney tries to sound folksy but doesn’t over/under is 30
-Times you change the channel to watch lions fucking over/under is 87
Why don’t they just get it over with & either have an open hand slap fight
Or the talent portion of the competition. Where Newt plays the trumpet
(Talent)
With his ass, & Rick Santorum tap dances his way in the heart of bigots
everywhere. Ahhhh, good times…gooooooooooooooood timessssssssss
Tomorrow, it’s all Oscar snubs. His name rhymes with Balbert Hooks
Have a day!
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