Look, it can seem like we comedians are piling on Republicans
(Har de har)
But it’s really more of a “hey you keep giving us this stuff” moment
Think of how funny “John Kerry turdy Democrats” were in 03
Well you can double it, then triple it, then multiply by 5
Mr. Potato Head AKA “Newt the talking silver haired penis”
(File photo)
Got a sweetheart deal from Freddie Mac, you know them
The one’s all Republicans demonize & blame for our collapse
Not the banks, Wall Street, or the repeal of Glass Steagal
Oh no, those other things had nothing to do with it at all
(Hey hot tits!)
Two weeks ago this fart locker couldn’t even get arrested
It may seem like I’m always picking on the GOP “front runner”
But turns out, they’re changing so quickly I can’t even keep up
Maybe because they all can’t sell “Screw everyone but me”
(Only I win)
It’s like a bad reality show where everyone gets voted off the Island
Forget Newt cheated on his 1st wife when she got cancer leaving her
Forget the 6 figure spending spree at Tiffany’s he won’t explain
Forget his dickish attitude to every moderator in all his debates
(Is that the Joker?)
Really in order to like any candidate, forget everything you know
This is strangest group of grossly underqualified people I’ve ever seen
Huntsman & Paul are the only two partially qualified people on stage
And their is no chance in hell of them getting the nomination
(Too soon?)
Meh, you say tomato, I say the end of the Republican Party
And the self inflicted schadenfreude couldn’t be more delicious
Holy Shit Balls, Obama Is Gay!?!?!
Oh yeah, it’s science fact people. Photo’s don’t lie…ever
(I knew it!)
Well, unless their photo shopped, or altered, or a politician
Than they lie like a dog on the floor in a warm sun spot
(At least it’s not a little boy)
Benton has a new ad campaign with major leaders kissing
All I could think was “What, no tongue?”. Nope, it’s classy
With a capital K. This’ll piss people off, & that’s why they did it
Have a day!
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