Or not…we really can’t tell yet…
Swine flu, swine flu, swine flu. If it comes from pork, Orthodox Jews can’t get it…
(A cross between Asia & Michael Jackson)
There are precautions you can take to avoid it. Luckily we have them right here…
1) Drink plenty of fluids
2) Don’t tongue kiss Mexican hookers
3) Bathe in Purell every 5 minutes
4) Don’t watch any Disney movies
5) Make money on this evil disaster by playing on peoples fears
(Bernie Jenkins says “I have Swine Flu”)
Where did it originate? Who’s fault is it? You guessed it, Mexico! He’s like our “screw up” younger brother always getting in trouble by starting drug wars, then trying to kill us with a pandemic evil killing flu that eats your soul…
There are only 40 cases reported in America. All mild. But turn on the TV, and every story starts off with, “Death flu consuming globe!!!”…
(OMG, a tongue depressor in her throat)
State Department spokesman Robert A. Wood said, “We don’t want people to panic at this point,”. What? There’s another point where you “might” want us to panic. Robert, turn on the TV, then make the same statement again with a straight face…
(Robert as a child)
It’s not a good day until the media goes full on “panic” mode chicken little style…
Britain’s Got Talent…
Has more “plants” than a botanical garden…
The latest in a line of “created sensations” comes another all too cute, little, awkward kid. This time it’s a girl who wants to sing, you guessed it, on Broadway…
(Aw, just a regular kid right?)
First we got a Boyle on our ass from “never been kissed”, then it was Shaheen Jafargholi(god bless you), and now it’s time for awkward adorable Hollie Steel…
Sounds like a porn name. Think Little Miss Sunshine in a tutu…
(Aw, now shut up & grow up already)
Fuck “reality tv”. It’s not real, and it’s not TV. It’s lazy writers who get you numb to watching human car accidents, so they can slip in “amazing” feats of joy…
Mad Magazines Circulation Is Down
Then get up from the toilet…
(Love this cover)
The tingling says your body parts are asleep…
Have a day!
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