{"id":889,"date":"2009-02-21T10:50:58","date_gmt":"2009-02-21T16:50:58","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/?p=889"},"modified":"2009-02-21T10:50:58","modified_gmt":"2009-02-21T16:50:58","slug":"ninjas","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/2009\/02\/21\/ninjas\/","title":{"rendered":"Ninja&#8217;s&#8230;"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><em>&#8220;Exciting party guests&#8221;<\/em>, or <em>&#8220;silent killers&#8221;<\/em>?<\/p>\n<p>I vote exciting party guests!<\/p>\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2009\/02\/gutiar-ninja.jpg\" alt=\"gutiar-ninja.jpg\" height=\"253\" width=\"253\" \/>(I hope he sings <em>&#8220;We Built This City&#8221;<\/em>)<\/p>\n<p>Unless you find out they&#8217;re only there to kill people. Then it&#8217;s kind of bad. When people RSVP to a party, they&#8217;re not counting on being murdered by a stealthy death-dealer near the German potato salad&#8230;<\/p>\n<p>Make sure not to let the kids stand too close during the Shuriken throwing&#8230;<\/p>\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2009\/02\/kid-near-throwing-star.jpg\" alt=\"kid-near-throwing-star.jpg\" height=\"174\" width=\"260\" \/>(The tree deserved it)<\/p>\n<p>Nothing stops a party faster than a throwing star to the face&#8230;<\/p>\n<p>If you do decide to invite a ninja, make sure he\/she signs a &#8220;I am not here to kill anyone at this party&#8221; form. Also have them check the box that says, &#8220;And no, I&#8217;m not crossing my fingers&#8221;&#8230;<\/p>\n<p>Oscars tomorrow&#8230;<\/p>\n<p>Hopefully the red carpet is still red and not purple because it was cheaper to rent&#8230;<\/p>\n<p>Have a day!<\/p>\n<div id=\"bolge-125669997\" class=\"bolge-after-content bolge-entity-placement\"><ins class=\"adbladeads\" data-cid=\"44284-1271501652\" data-host=\"web.adblade.com\" data-tag-type=\"4\" data-protocol=\"https\" style=\"display:none\"><\/div><br style=\"clear: both; display: block; float: none;\"\/>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>&#8220;Exciting party guests&#8221;, or &#8220;silent killers&#8221;? I vote exciting party guests! (I hope he sings &#8220;We Built This City&#8221;) Unless you find out they&#8217;re only there to kill people. Then it&#8217;s kind of bad. When people RSVP to a party, they&#8217;re not counting on being murdered by a stealthy death-dealer near the German potato salad&#8230; [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"om_disable_all_campaigns":false,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-889","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-news-comedy-satire"],"aioseo_notices":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/889","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=889"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/889\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=889"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=889"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=889"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}