{"id":832,"date":"2009-02-11T10:43:18","date_gmt":"2009-02-11T16:43:18","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/?p=832"},"modified":"2009-02-11T16:05:56","modified_gmt":"2009-02-11T22:05:56","slug":"kfc-releases-secret-recipe","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/2009\/02\/11\/kfc-releases-secret-recipe\/","title":{"rendered":"KFC Releases Secret Recipe"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>During five months in hiding while KFC upgraded security around its top corporate secret recipe for fried chicken, sources learned it was accidentally leaked&#8230;<\/p>\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2009\/02\/funny-kfc-t-shirt.jpg\" alt=\"funny-kfc-t-shirt.jpg\" height=\"350\" width=\"263\" \/>(A new <em>Inigo Montoya<\/em> is born)<\/p>\n<p>KFC president Rodger Eaton was visibly upset when one of his employee&#8217;s said they leaked the secret which is kept in a safe on a single sheet of yellowing paper&#8230;<\/p>\n<p>Thick <span style=\"background: transparent none repeat scroll 0% 0%; cursor: pointer; -moz-background-clip: -moz-initial; -moz-background-origin: -moz-initial; -moz-background-inline-policy: -moz-initial\" class=\"yshortcuts\" id=\"lw_1234293883_10\">concrete blocks<\/span> encapsulate the vault, and the safe is protected by an array of high-tech security gadgets, including <span class=\"yshortcuts\" id=\"lw_1234293883_9\">motion detectors<\/span> and cameras that allow guards to monitor the vault around the clock. However, they decided to use the exact same security team as <em>Entrapment<\/em>, with similar results&#8230;<\/p>\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2009\/02\/entrapment.jpg\" alt=\"entrapment.jpg\" height=\"182\" width=\"265\" \/>(The working title was <em>Encrapment<\/em>)<\/p>\n<p>You think they would have seen it coming&#8230;<\/p>\n<p>&#8220;It&#8217;s nerve wracking. We&#8217;ve held the secret for decades, and now some bone head let it out.&#8221; said Eaton. He went on to say, &#8220;Shit nuggets, I don&#8217;t even know the recipe&#8221;&#8230;<\/p>\n<p>Insiders say the yellowish sheet contained only <em>one<\/em> word&#8230;<\/p>\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2009\/02\/grease-truck.jpg\" alt=\"grease-truck.jpg\" height=\"345\" width=\"263\" \/>(Grease is the word)<\/p>\n<p>People were just as shocked to learn farts make bubbles underwater, Jesus is really just an auto mechanic in Palo Alto California, and A-Rod cheated&#8230;<\/p>\n<p><strong>It&#8217;s Good To See&#8230;<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Another couple with the last name <em>Brown<\/em> can continue the unhealthy, physically abusive relationships we&#8217;re all so used to&#8230;<\/p>\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2009\/02\/chris-brown-and-rhinna.jpg\" alt=\"chris-brown-and-rhinna.jpg\" height=\"270\" width=\"270\" \/>(It looks like a prom photo)<\/p>\n<p>They&#8217;ve got big shoes to fill. They haven&#8217;t gotten into heavy drug use yet. It&#8217;s only a matter of time before TMZ has footage of him doing booger sugar off a Rhino&#8217;s ass in the zoo while firing a pistol in the air. There&#8217;s time kids, there&#8217;s always time&#8230;<\/p>\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2009\/02\/bobby-brown-whitney-houston-4-3-08-5.jpg\" alt=\"bobby-brown-whitney-houston-4-3-08-5.jpg\" height=\"270\" width=\"270\" \/>(It&#8217;s Mr. Happy-time)<\/p>\n<p>Domestic abuse is nothing to joke about. It&#8217;s horrible. If any woman is being abused, leave! And if your gal doesn&#8217;t agree with you about this, paste her one good&#8230;<\/p>\n<p>I was getting worried for a while that no one would take the <em>Ike-n-Tina<\/em> <em>Bobby-n-Whitney Memorial Torch<\/em>. Wheeeeeew&#8230;<\/p>\n<p><strong>Sign Seen<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2009\/02\/bung-hole-liquors.jpg\" alt=\"bung-hole-liquors.jpg\" \/>(Next door is <em>Taint&#8217;s Tattoo&#8217;s<\/em>)<\/p>\n<p>I think I&#8217;ve been there before. They have <em>Monkey Knife Fight<\/em> Tuesdays&#8230;<\/p>\n<p>Have a day!<\/p>\n<div id=\"bolge-2096899397\" class=\"bolge-after-content bolge-entity-placement\"><ins class=\"adbladeads\" data-cid=\"44284-1271501652\" data-host=\"web.adblade.com\" data-tag-type=\"4\" data-protocol=\"https\" style=\"display:none\"><\/div><br style=\"clear: both; display: block; float: none;\"\/>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>During five months in hiding while KFC upgraded security around its top corporate secret recipe for fried chicken, sources learned it was accidentally leaked&#8230; (A new Inigo Montoya is born) KFC president Rodger Eaton was visibly upset when one of his employee&#8217;s said they leaked the secret which is kept in a safe on a [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"om_disable_all_campaigns":false,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[7,8,9,6],"class_list":["post-832","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-news-comedy-satire","tag-chris-brown","tag-funny","tag-jokes","tag-kfc"],"aioseo_notices":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/832","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=832"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/832\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=832"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=832"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=832"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}