{"id":7024,"date":"2012-01-31T14:59:07","date_gmt":"2012-01-31T20:59:07","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/?p=7024"},"modified":"2012-01-31T14:59:07","modified_gmt":"2012-01-31T20:59:07","slug":"all-eyes-on-the-penis-state","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/2012\/01\/31\/all-eyes-on-the-penis-state\/","title":{"rendered":"All Eye’s On The “Penis State”"},"content":{"rendered":"

They are holding the Republican primary today in Florida<\/p>\n

\"\"(Not the “Topless” state?)<\/p>\n

If you’re a registered Republican my first question is why?<\/p>\n

My second is how could you vote for any of those big turds?<\/p>\n

\"\"(“Oh I know, cause we suck”)<\/p>\n

It’d be like the 50th annual “Turd Off” at the Poo Jamboree<\/em><\/p>\n

Everyone knows the song & dance. Romney wins it big time<\/p>\n

\"\"(Voting base)<\/p>\n

Then the press showers him with love and coverage after he<\/p>\n

Wins big again in Nevada. But the first moment Newt wins<\/p>\n

\"\"(You’re on your way kid)<\/p>\n

They’ll all have shocking titles like “Not So Fast Mitty”, or<\/p>\n

Dumber stuff. It’s a 2 turd race, but in the end it’s still shit<\/p>\n

Why It Sucks To Be A Vampire<\/strong><\/p>\n

\"\"(1, 2, 3…scratch off tickets!)<\/p>\n

-The no sunlight thing means no tan ever pasty white creep
\n-Your teeth make it hard to eat sugary cereal w\/o getting cavities
\n-Who wants to sleep in a tiny box aside from New Yorkers?
\n-They love you as a forever teen, but if you can’t sing you’re nothing
\n-Try talking about WWI with anyone, they won’t know a thing
\n-You always confuse meat steak with wooden stake
\n-You get lazy & start drinking your brothers & sisters blood *cue banjos
\n-Staying up all night, but then going to school. You’ll be tired as hell
\n-Since you don’t age, eventually you’ll be in every high school yearbook
\n-All you can do is “sing count” a lot of numbers with only 8 fingers<\/p>\n

Hey, it’s just not easy sucking blood for a living. Try sucking cock<\/p>\n

That ain’t much easier. Ask any full time hooker, they’ll show you<\/p>\n

Have a day!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

They are holding the Republican primary today in Florida (Not the “Topless” state?) If you’re a registered Republican my first question is why? My second is how could you vote for any of those big turds? (“Oh I know, cause we suck”) It’d be like the 50th annual “Turd Off” at the Poo Jamboree Everyone […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"om_disable_all_campaigns":false,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"aioseo_notices":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7024"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=7024"}],"version-history":[{"count":9,"href":"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7024\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":7038,"href":"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/7024\/revisions\/7038"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=7024"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=7024"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=7024"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}