{"id":6713,"date":"2012-01-02T12:38:44","date_gmt":"2012-01-02T18:38:44","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/?p=6713"},"modified":"2012-01-02T12:46:23","modified_gmt":"2012-01-02T18:46:23","slug":"new-years-resolutions","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/2012\/01\/02\/new-years-resolutions\/","title":{"rendered":"New Years Resolutions?!?!"},"content":{"rendered":"

Not into those, so I decided to make “New Years Retributions”<\/em><\/p>\n

\"\"(Merry Nude Year!)<\/p>\n

Now those are fun! Like “Fuck with that barking dog across<\/p>\n

The way from our apartment by turning up my Bark Off sonar”<\/p>\n

\"\"(My NY’s resolution is 1080p)<\/p>\n

Also, “Tell the loud douchebag hipster Barista at Star Bucks<\/p>\n

to royally ‘Suck it’ the next couple of times I get some coffee”<\/p>\n

\"\"(Mustache party bitch!)<\/p>\n

And then “Go into the dollar store, and ask for a price check<\/p>\n

On everything in the entire store. But how much is this<\/em>?”<\/p>\n

\"\"(Doh!)<\/p>\n

Welcome to 2012. The dumb Mayan’s calendar quit on us<\/p>\n

But check it out Rapture experts, we’re all still totally here<\/p>\n

What do you think a guys 1417’s New Years Resolution was?<\/p>\n

-Try not to get Black Plague & die like my stupid brother<\/p>\n

Have a day!<\/p>\n

<\/div>
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Not into those, so I decided to make “New Years Retributions” (Merry Nude Year!) Now those are fun! Like “Fuck with that barking dog across The way from our apartment by turning up my Bark Off sonar” (My NY’s resolution is 1080p) Also, “Tell the loud douchebag hipster Barista at Star Bucks to royally ‘Suck […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"om_disable_all_campaigns":false,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-6713","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-news-comedy-satire"],"aioseo_notices":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6713","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=6713"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6713\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=6713"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=6713"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bolgernow.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=6713"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}